frazzled & frumpy

As I scrolled through my facebook and Instagram feeds this morning, I found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed. My breathing quickened, my heart raced and I thought I might be having a panic attack. What was wrong? you ask. (Thanks for asking.) But, really, nothing. Nothing was wrong. Everything was right. So. Very. Right. It was...Perfect. Yes, I'm talking about the "Christmas of 2015" posts. Holy crap! You all had a great year! And as I looked through all the pics- fancy tables, gifts piled around the tree, beaches, and Disneyland- I realized how lacking I am. I mean, seriously, I suck at Christmas. But then a little voice whispered (I hear voices, don't judge), "No one's life is like that all the time." Oh, right. It's the social media bear trap. You know, where everyone posts all the best stuff in their life while behind the scenes they're just as screwed up as the rest of us? I'm guilty of it. Yeah. I delete pictures and crop and fi...

The lights still shimmer downstairs and Andy Williams is serenading me about snow and sleighbells. But, it's over. Once again, the season has come and gone in a mere blinking of an eye. The shopping and wrapping and worrying have melted into forgetfulness. Because, that is not what I'll remember. I'll remember my children gleefully buying gifts for one another, picking them oh, so carefully. I'll remember my two youngest who wrapped up their own possessions--YuGioh cards and stuffed animals and even a bank containing $5.24 (a fortune to a six-year-old)-- and put gift tags on them. I'll remember the squeals of delight at the surprises and the tears that I could not hold back. I didn't do all of the things I'd planned this season. Our scripture list to read each night went mostly ignored. Our service goals fell short. The amazing family home evening lessons turned into watching A Christmas Story and the Grinch. I thought that I'd failed. But, ...

I hope the light of this season brings peace and joy to each of you.  Merry Christmas.

I started listening to Christmas music on November 1st. Yep, I'm one of those people. Thing is, the music at this time of year is nothing short of magical. It gives us such feelings of good and happy and right . It's one of the things I miss most when Christmas is over. In the spirit of Christmas harmony, here's a little early Christmas gift from me to you.

Please excuse my recent absence. Things get in the way. Life happens. We're living in some serious murk here in Utah, so I thought I'd repost something I wrote a couple years ago. Happy Wednesday! December in our Den I lumbered into December heavily this year. A big, fat momma bear, burdened with the care and keeping of her cubs. We moved slowly through the month, reveling in the light displays, the scents and sounds of the season. Talk of gifts and all the excitement kept the cubs rolling and wrestling with anticipation and each other. Then, one day, I looked out to find our world wrapped in grey.  The mountains had mysteriously disappeared along with my cheer. I tried and tried to keep the inversion at bay.  This miserable lead stripe that colors our horizon and buries us in depressing fog.  The pollutant threatened to squeeze its way into our home. Discouragement is as thick and gunky as they come, though it has the peculiar ability to slide into sma...

cody-wyoming-network.com I lumbered into December heavily this year. A big, fat momma bear, burdened with the care and keeping of her cubs. We moved slowly through the month, reveling in the light displays, the scents and sounds of the season. Talk of gifts and all the excitement kept the cubs rolling and wrestling with anticipation and each other. Then, one day, I looked out to find our world wrapped in grey.  The mountains had mysteriously disappeared along with my cheer. I tried and tried to keep the inversion at bay.  This miserable lead stripe that colors our horizon and buries us in depressing fog.  The pollutant threatened to squeeze its way into our home. Discouragement is as thick and gunky as they come, though it has the peculiar ability to slide into small, unprotected spaces.  I threw my hide to the doors, attempting to block it out. There is no room for you here, I explained.  The desire to protect my young from the cold that has nothing ...

One Star Millions of people, The heavens filled with stars. Multitudes of angels, Buildings near and far. One silent stable,  One messenger so bright, One star is blazing, One baby born this night. One manger holds him, One mother softly sings, All hearts enfold him, And the promise that he brings. One night among many, When faithful knees would bend, For our one perfect Savior, One hope, without end.                                                                                               (-Jewels 2008) Merry Christmas                                                                 ...

(1965) The year before I was born. Can you say 'spoiled first child'? (1975) My 'baby' brother, Marc, Me, my sister, Heidi, aka- spoiled one. (Love you, Heidi!) (1969) My dad helping me check out my stocking.

"The things we hope in sustain us in our daily walk. They uphold us through trials, temptations and sorrow.  Everyone has experienced discouragement and difficulty.  Indeed there are times when the darkness may seem unbearable.  It is in these times that the divine principles of the restored gospel can uphold us and carry us until, once again, we walk in the light." -Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf Our house that year was underground. Not part of it, the whole thing.  Basement house.  (Whose bright idea was that?)  My dad had lost his job over the summer and we moved into the tiny home just before my sophomore year began. I won't go into all the details of the house, but suffice it to say it was dreadful. School began and soon the holidays approached.  No amount of poverty could hold the season at bay.  I have no idea how my parents got through that time.  Now, as a 'grown-up'  myself,  I better understand the stresses they must have...

(Picture from pella.com) Even growing up as I did, with meager circumstance, I don't think I knew we were poor.  Most of my friends lived in the same situation.  We went to school together, attended church and played side by side.  I had one friend, who, looking back had much more than I did, but I'm not sure I noticed.   The time I really understood that my home was different was one Christmas.  Our morning came and we'd had a good day.  I don't remember everything I got, but I remember one thing. It was this little, white, stuffed bear.  I had asked for it specifically and was thrilled to have found it under the tree. After the gift opening, we would normally just stay home to enjoy our gifts.  This year we did something new.   My dad's cousin had invited us to brunch.  First of all, we didn't eat brunch .  We had breakfast and lunch. Secondly, the cousin lived one neighborhood over.  Just a few streets away, but the...

I mentioned a 2011 Christmas letter in my last post. I didn't send one this year, really haven't for a while. Since I started my family blog, it seemed a bit redundant since most people I would send a letter to reads the blog and already knows everything that happened throughout the year. (wow, run-on sentence!) I like getting them, it's fun to find out what people I don't see often have been up to. I always wonder, though, how many people feel intimidated by them. I know I do. When I read how every one of your kids is a straight A student and on student council and in plays and the star of the football team and dating the prophet's great-granddaughter? Well, it makes my family seem- ordinary, or even, dare I say it? Below average. So, as a little belated Christmas gift, I am giving you the ultimate Christmas letter. This one will make you feel like your family is successful and brilliant, even if, like mine, they're lacking a bit. Feel free to print it out ...

In the 'after-Christmas' tradition, I would like to return the weight I gained this year. Anyone know where that customer service department is located?

With all the push for 'political correctness' at this time of year, there's something I need to say. Merry Christmas I don't understand why this is so offensive. I would say it to anyone. Whether you're Christian, Jew, Muslim or atheist. When I say it, I'm not saying, "Ooh, I hope you're Christian, too." That's not what this holiday is about. We're celebrating the birth of a Man whose life was about love and giving. I truly believe that Santa came from that, the spirit of giving. Why do you suppose we all feel so good this time of year? With all the commercialism, rush and stress aside, we're all thinking, really focusing, on giving to each other. Maybe if we focused on that throughout the year, thinking, "What could I give to my child, or spouse, or neighbor?", we'd be happier all the time. Jesus Christ gave everyday and in the end, He gave, literally, all that He had. He loved everyone , it didn't matter what relig...

If we ever had a fire and I could only grab one thing (assuming my family was safe) I would take my laptop. If I had time for one more, it would be the Christmas ornaments. I know, I know, grab the pictures. Thing is, my pictures are spread throughout the house and garage and I could never get them all. The ornaments are in one place and they are, in themselves, a scrapbook of our family. The kids each have an ornament for each year of life-with their picture on it. We also have a family picture ornament for each year (19) that we've been married. Our oldest is 18, I'm not going to do the math, but it's ALOT of ornaments. So much that we've outgrown our tree. This one- has the kids' ornaments on it, including ones they've made over the years. Our family tree is a small one in the front room. Someday I'll have another big one, I'm going to need it. This is one of my favorite parts of Christmas. Sitting and looking at the tree. Remembering Christmas pas...

Do you want to know one of my favorite things about Christmas-time? I know, you're waiting with bated breath. It's the doorbell. I already told you I'm not very social, so we don't have people coming over to visit. Our doorbell is pretty silent most of the time. When the holidays arrive, however, I get a few butterflies every time I hear it, because I know it might be a sweet neighbor gift. Tonight we got an ornament wrapped in a homemade hot pad. Like Malcom said, "It's two gifts in one!" Awesome! On to the decorations. The J* O* Y letters I made with my sister. They're really big and perfect on top of my ledge in my front room. This is probably my favorite sleigh. (Wal-Mart special.) Today found the baby and most of the animals on the roof of the nativity. Not sure how they got up there, but if you notice, Mary and Joseph look a bit upset. On a more positive note, we found a new staff for the shepherd. He seems quite pleased.

I made this advent when my teenagers were little. The kids love to put the hearts on the tree, also they like to take the caroler's hat off, which makes him bald. Then they call him Uncle Matt. (Who used to be bald.) Who doesn't love snowmen? I have NO idea who gave me this one, but I adore him. He's made from an inside-out sock filled with beans. I could probably make one, but don't have to because I already have one. When you put a candle in this hat, it makes the coolest shadows. Here's the latest in our nativity saga. I came downstairs and found that Mary had picked up the baby. Just in time as the lamb decided to climb into the manger. Joseph just looks like he doesn't know what to do.

I'm always so happy when I open up my boxes of Christmas decorations. It's our history of our family. And, I really love them. I'm pretty proud of them, too. I think they're great. I love the fact that they're a tradition my kids can count on and enjoy. Thing is, I'm not a terribly social person. I don't have parties or get-togethers at my house. Which means no one gets to see my super cute stuff. So, I thought I'd share some of them here. Ooh and aah at will. I bought this adorable nativity about 6 years ago from Avon. It's plastic and completely 'playable'. I'm totally impressed with myself that the only thing we've lost over the years is the shepard's staff. I love the fact that baby Jesus can lay in his manger or Mary can hold him. It's fun to see how the kids rearrange things over the season. This sleigh started it all. We bought it as a decoration for our wedding reception. It cost about $20 and was a HUGE splurge for u...