frazzled & frumpy

As an *ahem* older person, I have what some call "life experience". It's true. It's one of the best things about getting older. (There are a lot of not-so-great things, but we won't discuss that today.) As part of my experience, here is what I would say to all the 20-somethings out there, with all their hopes and dreams and plans— Your life is not going to turn out like you think. Oh, I’m not saying don’t make plans. Make them. Have dreams and do your darndest to achieve them. And hope, yes, please, have hope. You must have and do all of these things. But, in the end, things will change. And that’s ok. Maybe you’ll dream of having 6 kids, yes, 6 is the right number. And then you have 6. And, then, BAM! you find yourself pregnant with number 7. It wasn’t your plan. Or your dream. But, then you have that 7th child (and he’s not the girl you’d hoped for), but he turns out to be so much more. You sit now, with that baby number seven ready to enter junior high,...

 Today takes us back to 1968, 1971 and 1984. (And to the present with a toe pic.) (1968 or 69) I must be two, or three? This is at my grandma's house. I'm not sure why, but taking a bath at Grandma's was a huge treat. Everything about her house was special, from the super-soft, furry, white couch, to the cereal cupboard filled with sugary concoctions never found at home. (1972) L-R: My sister Ellen, Me and our friend, Karen. Where did I get that attitude? I was incredibly shy. Maybe because I was at home with Mom behind the camera. We lived in Mesa, Arizona, thus the tan and the bare feet. Seriously, we never wore shoes. (1984) Fast forward a few years. This is a family portrait taken when I was a senior in high school. My parents are seated with Sarah on Mom's lap. Then, L-R:  Mitch, Marc, Heidi, Ellen, Me and Matt.  My parents are so young. My son, Max, is a clone of Mitch. Don't you love Matt's shirt? And, what about my big hair? Wow. ...

On Friday, I was catapulted back to my childhood as I climbed into the car with my parents, Dad at the wheel. We picked up my older sister, Heidi, and were on our way. A five hour road trip, with licorice and Gardettos and bubbly cups of diet Coke to keep us company. There may have been some sisterly bickering, but if so, it was all Heidi's fault. The reason for the trip was the funeral for my Aunt Lanell. She was a tiny woman with a huge personality, who gave birth to 12 children, raising ten of them to adulthood. I grew up playing with her children that were my age, Lynette and Dana, and admiring their older brothers, teenagers who drove cars and played popular music on the radio.  Their house was large and well-organized. The basement was a fantasy land, with foosball and a pool table. Aunt Lanell's death was not all sad. She had Alzheimer's for the past few years. She was in her 80's. I told myself I had no reason to cry. This was a release. A passage to a new a...

Reasons.  I've been pondering my reasons for things--priorities and motivation in my life. The reason I blog. I had someone question what I do. That's okay, everyone is entitled to their opinion.  It doesn't change my reasons.  (Sticks and stones, and all that.)  I started this blog for two reasons.  One was that I thought I would become famous and more importantly, rich. Funny, huh?  I do have advertising on here, thanks to the wonderful BlogHer community. The money I've earned from that wouldn't fill my car with gas, not even one time. That's all right. I've put that idea aside.  The fact is, the second reason for this blog has become the main reason-- to write. I'm  a writer. It took me a long time to be able to say that.  I felt like I needed some kind of publishing contract to give myself that label.  Not so.  I've been a writer my whole life.  It's always been a part of me.  It is one of the things that makes m...

 There's a character in my book who is a link . This means she can see the connections between people- good or bad. I got the idea for her gift from a night when my sisters and I were together in a car. We were talking and laughing, the four of us, and I could imagine a connection between us. Like a golden chord, it joined us in a circle.  I know I've blogged about them before, but I will do so again. I love them. I count myself so blessed to have 3 of them.  Heidi, Ellen and Me   Our lives are very different, yet, when we're together, the bonds that were forged through our childhoods erase the lines that separate us. Having just 2 years between each of us, we grew up as playmates. We loved jacks and roller skating. We took swimming lessons together and rode bikes all over whatever neighborhood we happened to live in. Of course, we fought. Sometimes the battles were bloody- mostly when I attacked with my nails. Heehee, ten weapons right at the tips of my fingers!...

( Noah and his cake. He wanted DJ Lance Rock, but I am not that talented!) Sunday evening we had a little get-together for Noah's birthday. Grandparents, cousins, a couple aunts and uncles. During the melee of having so many people in our home, Noah runs in the kitchen and in his loudest voice asks, "Does Grandma have a weiner?" Oh crap. So, here's the dilemma. Do I scold him for saying that word (which I've been trying to keep him from saying) or do I answer what, for him, is a serious question? He's that age, you know, where he's curious about these things. I mean, would it have been better if he'd asked if Grandma had a penis? Definitely not , because when I grew up, I thought that was a swear word and I'm sure I've never, ever heard my mom say it. I told him not to say that word. "Well, does she?" "NO." I'm very grateful that I have the family I do. No one was fazed by it. We all just went on with our evening, eat...

If we ever had a fire and I could only grab one thing (assuming my family was safe) I would take my laptop. If I had time for one more, it would be the Christmas ornaments. I know, I know, grab the pictures. Thing is, my pictures are spread throughout the house and garage and I could never get them all. The ornaments are in one place and they are, in themselves, a scrapbook of our family. The kids each have an ornament for each year of life-with their picture on it. We also have a family picture ornament for each year (19) that we've been married. Our oldest is 18, I'm not going to do the math, but it's ALOT of ornaments. So much that we've outgrown our tree. This one- has the kids' ornaments on it, including ones they've made over the years. Our family tree is a small one in the front room. Someday I'll have another big one, I'm going to need it. This is one of my favorite parts of Christmas. Sitting and looking at the tree. Remembering Christmas pas...

I didn't get on the computer yesterday. When I'm stressed or not feeling 'myself' I avoid it, I don't know why. I did think alot about what I was grateful for yesterday. I'm grateful for the Sabbath, at least the church part. With all these kids, Sunday isn't exactly a day of rest. Maybe if I were a better mom, we'd have spiritually uplifting activities all day. I'm not. Anyway, for yesterday, I'm grateful for our ward. I love our ward family. It's amazing . When we bought this house 4 1/2 years ago, we prayed and prayed to find a house in a neighborhood where our kids would have friends. Heavenly Father did one better and brought us to a ward where we have fabulous friends, teachers and leaders. Having 6 boys, He knew we needed a strong scouting program, even if we didn't. We have the most dedicated scout leaders I've ever seen. It has made immeasurable differences in our lives. For my sweet daughter, she has many friends and fantas...

We all watched with bated breath as those miners were brought to safety in Chile. When the last miner got out, they asked him what helped him survive. He said, "Faith, hope and family." I thought that those three words were incredibly profound considering the situation he'd been in. None of us will ever be trapped thousands of feet below ground, but we do all have our times when life is dark, gloomy and lonely. This has made me think alot about the events of this week. My friend's daughter died as a result of complications after a simple ankle surgery. Her daughter is married and has a 7 month-old baby girl. She has joined her dad and I'm sure they had a wonderful reunion. Those left behind, though, are sad, and overwhelmed with the prospect of finishing their time here without her. The miner's words have application for all us in our lives. Faith - It's one of the 'first four principles' of the gospel and something we talk about pretty much from ...

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." -Martin Luther King, Jr. Being a parent, loving my children the way I do, strengthens my testimony of my Father in Heaven. If I am so concerned that my kids are happy and healthy, then His concern must be so much stronger. It gives me the courage to get through the day- knowing Someone is watching and worrying over me. I can stand tall with the knowledge that I am not alone in my struggles and trials. I don't know how anyone could go through this life without that assurance. I know that my family is sealed forever. That, too, gives me comfort. My friend just lost her father last week. It was bittersweet for her family , since he'd been suffering. She told me they're comforted knowing he's with his wife again and that they'll see him someday. What a gift it is- that knowledge. How anyone could handle death without knowing they'll see their loved one again, I don't know. I ...

I think I know my brothers and sisters pretty well. For example, Jan's favorite cookie is peanut butter, she's very athletic and tends to drive without a seat belt. (You better stop or I'm telling Mom!) Peter loves banana cream pie and has 4 tattoos (that I know of). Marsha works very hard and would actually be able to tell you more about us, that's because she knows all of us the best. The adversary, as our brother, knows us well, too. He knows our weaknesses and strengths. He knows what works on us. For example, he doesn't tempt me with alcohol or drugs because those aren't a temptation. For others, of course, they would be. I wonder if he has a file on each one of us that he can refer to when his minnions need to know what to do. If he had one on me it would look like this- What Works on Jewels- 1. Proscrastination 2. Discouragement 3. Body Image I'm trying to recognize when these things pop up and the source they're coming from. Especially the procra...

In my family, there are 3 girls, then 3 boys, then a girl. (Can you say spoiled rotten? JK sis!) The two older sisters and I fought occasionally. OK, we fought alot, like all the time . If you have siblings you know how it is. I remember one time when my sister, Jan, and I had been fighting. My mom, who I'm sure was at the end of her rope, grabbed us and made us face each other. "If you want to fight, fine! Hit each other!" We looked at her in disbelief. "Go on, hit each other!" So, what did we do? We looked at each other and started bawling. "I don't want to hit her!" Genius. My mom was a genius. We didn't stop fighting forever, but I'm sure she had a few hours of peace. Fast forward 20-some years and I have children of my own. And, being children, they also fought. So, one day, I remember what my mom had done and decide to try it. I grabbed my two oldest and made them face each other. "You want to fight? Fine! Hit each other!" ...