frazzled & frumpy

Last week was my birthday. It wasn't a "big" one that ended in a zero. All the same, it felt big. Maybe because the one ending in zero is next year. And that zero will have a 5 in front of it. Yes, it's true. I turned 49. And honestly, I'm wondering how the hell it happened. No, I'm not kidding, not being glib. I really don't understand how I'm suddenly an 'older' person. OK, maybe it wasn't so sudden. I've been 'older' for a few years now. But, this year, I feel it. I could blame it on college. I walk around campus in the ant-like crowds and can't miss the age differences. I'm fully aware of the smooth skin and tight everything on those kids. They're overly stylish even in their I-don't-care fashion. They talk about dating and roomates and who just got home from what mission. I walk among them as invisible as a tree--something to maneuver around. But it's more than my new-found student-status. It...

I had a birthday last week. The big 48. Depending where you are in your life, that number may seem big or small. To me, it simply is. I had one friend tell me that every birthday is a celebration because you're still here. So true. And I am grateful to be here. To be me. This year has seen changes, as they all do. Here are a few things about who I am as a 48 year-old- I am a mother to four adults, two teenagers and two children.   Seven still at home. I'm...lucky? I am a soon-to-be grandmother. (Can't wait to hold sweet Phineas!) I am a writer. This is hard to say some days when the minutes seems to be sucked up into some huge time-swallowing beast. But, I'm trying. I am a wife. Almost 23 years now. Lucky me to be married to the Handy Man who spoils me. I am a part-time worker. I've been working at a dry cleaner for two months now. I work while the kids are in school. I really like the job and the people I work with. I am a teacher. With my sem...

Here's the thing... The School Thing -I often hear people tell me how well-behaved my kids are. I've come to the conclusion that they are simply better for other people than for me (because they're beasts at home).  That idea was ripped to shreds last week when Noah got two 'behavior notices'.  On the same day.  It's gonna be a long year. A rare quiet moment. Maybe I should get him a bunny. The Addiction Thing - Our local gas station put out the fixings for dirty diet Cokes. (diet Coke, fresh lime and coconut syrup).  Though I'd tried it once before and didn't like it much, I decided to give it another go. That was Thursday. On Friday night, when I accidentally knocked my dirty drink on the floor, I was much more upset about the drink than the books I'd gotten wet. Then, when I went on Saturday (third time in three days) I was incredibly disappointed to find they'd run out of the coconut syrup. May be time for an intervention. (Or to fi...

September came and went on the wings of a hawk. It started out slowly, gently teasing me with the promise of a new school year and time to myself. Up, up the days went, the wind blowing away the hurt and heat of summer months.  Then, with abandon, it soared down.  Faster and faster the days sped by, until, suddenly it landed with a flutter of feathers and I tore off my calendar page to face a new month. I love September.  My birth month, I have loved it since the days that it brought balloons and streamers, cake and gifts. It always meant new beginnings.  New school, new teacher, and best of all, brand new school supplies. *sigh* I still get a thrill from the notebooks and pencils that are offered for me to fill with new words and ideas. September is a good month for family.  I spent precious time with my sisters. We went to the fair.  We roamed through booths selling fattening food and 'can't-live-without' products.  We admired the calves and the ...

It might bother me more, if I felt that old. I don't.  Getting older has never really bothered me. Ask me how I feel in 5 years, that might change things. But, for now, it's all good. Noah wanted to know who was coming to my birthday. He thinks anyone who has a birthday has a party.  We just had a quiet day at home- with cheesecake. Here are a few random things about me. See how many you already know. I had brown eyes growing up. Brown. Now, they're hazel. I didn't like country music until 10 years ago. I was on the modern dance team at Ricks College. (When I'm resurrected, I'll have that dancer's body!) As a teenager, I had a huge crush on Shawn Cassidy. (Do you even know who that is?) Also, one on Christopher Reeves. I was a nanny- twice.  I love beets. My mom cans them every year.  My kids won't touch them, I waited too long to introduce them. Oh, well, more for me. I love action movies. I cry at the drop of a hat. Everyone knows that. You...

Last night I was telling Max his birth story.  I tried to make it entertaining, which wasn't difficult. I sort of skimmed over the part where my water broke, leaving a lovely green stain on my bed. (He had nasty meconium in the water.) I also left out how because of him I was catheterized before my epidural. My husband will attest to how fun  that was for me.  I did tell him that when he came out, he was covered in green (he loved the fact that he'd pooped inside me and that it was green).  He laughed and laughed when I said that the doctor called him the jolly green giant. I'm not sure he appreciated the fact that he was the largest baby my doctor ever delivered, and he'd been delivering for over 30 years.  I told him he was FAT, fat face, fat arms, fat legs, fat, fat, fat. All 13lb. 6oz. of him. He made me retell the part where the newborn diapers didn't fit him and they had to tape two together until they could send someone to buy bigger ones. What a differ...

I'm a bad mom. I can't remember what time my kids were born. I remember the days, isn't that enough? My mom could still tell you the times she welcomed each of us into the world. I don't know, I just didn't memorize it. I know the general time of day (afternoon, evening or morning). Well, I recently found out that the kids' birth certificates have the time on them! Saved! With one exception. Sadie. I'm not sure if it's because her certificate is a different format, or if for some reason the state doesn't have that info. I feel bad. I can't even tell her that much about her birth. After having seven labors/deliveries, the details tend to get foggy. I get them mixed up. How awful is that? I do remember some things about each one, and I wrote some of them down. But not all. What I can tell you is that Sadie was an easy labor. She came out and promptly peed on me. I didn't mind. When they weighed her, (10lb. 11oz.) the doctor said,...

Here's a few tips on how to successfully celebrate your birthday when you get to be old like me. Start celebrating the day before your birthday. Spend the night in a hotel with your sweetie. No kids, no phones, no cooking dinner, no kids, no laundry, no housework, no kids . Sit in a hot tub a couple of times. Stay up very late writing because you know you can sleep in. Eat fattening food, don't worry about it because you're 44 now, been married forever and he still loves and desires you, so, who cares? Sleep in. Let the hotel make you breakfast. Go home to the kids and have them all say, "Happy Birthday, Mommy." (yes, I have teenagers and, yes, they call me mommy) Ignore the fact that you have kids and a household to run. Lay around all day, watching TV, playing on computer and don't do any housework. Take a nap. Go to the General Relief Society Meeting with your mom and sisters. Be sneaky and eat pie and goodies with older sister while mom and younger sist...