Just One

I have one New Year's Resolution for this year. One. Because I seriously suck at resolutions. I thought maybe I could do one. Because I'm really good at peer pressure and all the peers have resolutions and they're pressuring me (without even meaning to) to make one.

So, OK already. Stop pressuring me.

Ready? Here it is-

I resolute resolve determine (whatever!)

I'm going to write everyday  more. 

I know blogs are sort of passe, but this is an easy place for me to write. And, yeah, no one reads them, but it's more about me, you know? Because I'm all selfish like that. (I'm not. Or I try not to be. If I am, will you tell me?)

I have about a hundred classes* and I have to write for ALL of them, which you would definitely not want to read,(technical writing-blah.) but I need some creative stuff, so yeah. Here it goes.

*I'm the queen of hyperbole. I actually have 5 classes. But it feels like a hundred.

365 Days

Our church is big on preparation. Prepare for your future. Prepare for catastrophes. Prepare for you callings. Be spiritually prepared. We are taught it all our lives.


Sadie was trying to prepare me. Or Someone was.

 From the beginning, my girl was ok to leave me. At the tender age of two, she toddled off, holding my sister Ellen’s hand as she left for a sleepover. No looking back, no tears or requests to ‘come home’. She chatted all the way to Ellen’s house and happily spent time with her, only sad when she was returned to me.

At eight, she went to Girl Scout camp. A week with her BFF in the Utah mountains, making boondoggle and singing songs. Still no homesick tears.

I have let her go over and over. Girls camp. Youth conference. Scout camp. I should have been prepared.

We are all prepared, we Mormon parents. It isn’t like it’s sprung on us. A mission- SURPRISE! We know they’re going. We talk about it as they grow. (“When you go on your mission…”  “Where do you hope to go?)…

Can You Hear Me Now?

I am so out of practice with this blog-writing thing. I start a post, then erase it. Start another and erase it too. Then I go on other blogs to get inspired and all I get is discouraged because they are obviously not out of practice.  Sheesh. 
Here's the thing- I'm going to be in Listen to Your Mother. (Which, if you don't know, is a nationwide show that celebrates motherhood. It's amazing. You should go. It's May 5th.) And, if you go on the site and click on my name, it brings you here. To my blog. My very, very neglected blog. (If my blog was a kid, someone would call DCFS.)  And, though I doubt tons of people will be clicking on my name, if they do, they'll see my sad blog and think I'm lame.  (I am lame, but I really don't want to have verifiable proof.)
So, I'm trying to get back into practice. 
If my announcement about LTYM seems familiar, that's because I've done it before. Three years ago. It was incredible. Life-changing. (and…

Merry Social-Media Christmas

As I scrolled through my facebook and Instagram feeds this morning, I found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed. My breathing quickened, my heart raced and I thought I might be having a panic attack. What was wrong? you ask. (Thanks for asking.) But, really, nothing. Nothing was wrong. Everything was right. So. Very. Right. It was...Perfect.
Yes, I'm talking about the "Christmas of 2015" posts. Holy crap! You all had a great year! And as I looked through all the pics- fancy tables, gifts piled around the tree, beaches, and Disneyland- I realized how lacking I am. I mean, seriously, I suck at Christmas.
But then a little voice whispered (I hear voices, don't judge), "No one's life is like that all the time."
Oh, right. It's the social media bear trap. You know, where everyone posts all the best stuff in their life while behind the scenes they're just as screwed up as the rest of us? I'm guilty of it. Yeah. I delete pictures and crop and filter …

Shallow Reflection


Destiny unfullfilled


49 is Fabulous

Last week was my birthday. It wasn't a "big" one that ended in a zero. All the same, it felt big. Maybe because the one ending in zero is next year. And that zero will have a 5 in front of it. Yes, it's true.
I turned 49.

And honestly, I'm wondering how the hell it happened. No, I'm not kidding, not being glib. I really don't understand how I'm suddenly an 'older' person. OK, maybe it wasn't so sudden. I've been 'older' for a few years now. But, this year, I feel it.

I could blame it on college. I walk around campus in the ant-like crowds and can't miss the age differences. I'm fully aware of the smooth skin and tight everything on those kids. They're overly stylish even in their I-don't-care fashion. They talk about dating and roomates and who just got home from what mission. I walk among them as invisible as a tree--something to maneuver around.

But it's more than my new-found student-status. It's my …