frazzled & frumpy

"You don't have a soul. You  are  a soul. You have a body." (C.S. Lewis) I am a soul, or a spirit. And, as a spirit, I am eternal and glorious.  I was given a body to house that spirit, and, someday, my body will be as eternal and glorious as the celestial soul it encompasses.  This is one of those truths that I have to relearn over and over. So I think it bears repeating.  Our bodies are important. If not, Satan wouldn't care what we did with them. But he does.  If Satan had a 'hit list' of the things he attacks, we could agree that the family is at the top.  I believe that our bodies run a close second for a couple of reasons- Firs t- he doesn't have one.  He's quite the jealous type, you know.  Our bodies are something he will NEVER have.  Man, that has got to tick him off. And, if you can't have something, and you're basically a hot-head, you don't want those who do have that something to enjoy it. You'd like noth...

I have a love/hate relationship with my body. Don't we all? I read this article yesterday and it resonated with me. For so long, I avoided swimsuits. I just didn't go where they were needed. Then, came the t-shirt years, when I somehow figured wearing a baggy-knit-thing would hide who I was. And, pictures? They have been erased and edited and cropped, carefully only showing my face, and, maybe shoulders. I guess it's our human nature. To look in the mirror, and instead of seeing beautiful, glorious beings, we pick ourselves apart, honing in on each and every teeny-tiny flaw. We squint and frown, and often, just avoid the reflection altogether. It doesn't help that 'the world' is telling us what we need to look like and all the many things that are wrong with who we are. There are things I hate don't like about my body. I would list them, but, well, that would be like saying 'Voldemort'-- giving power and substance to the thing I wish to...

Last night was the finale of Dancing with the Stars . I'll admit, I don't watch the show on a regular basis. But, this season, I had more of an interest because of one dancer-- Amber Riley . I 'know' Amber from her role on Glee. (The girl can sing!) I love her Glee character because she's very outgoing and confident. Riley said once, "I never wanted to play a character that hated herself. I wanted people to know that those aren't the only roles for people like me, normal girls." I didn't know until DWTS that Amber is like that in real life. The thing about Amber is that she doesn't apologize for her size. She doesn't obsess about losing weight. She doesn't demean herself in any way. She is confident in who she is. “I don’t think it should be an anomaly for a person my size to be able to dance or have confidence,” Amber adds. “Everybody should have confidence. … We deserve it.” This is what we need. We need role models who do...

Last weekend I went out with some friends. Beautiful, intelligent, caring women who have recently become a part of my life. I'd been looking forward to this night for weeks . We met, we hugged, we gushed over how good it was to be together again. We sat and in-between talking, ordered, and, somehow consumed, good food. We caught up on our lives and discussed future plans-new homes, campaigns, travel and children. It was glorious. Simply glorious. At the end of the night, as we began, reluctantly, to say our good-byes, everyone whipped out their phones for pictures. We flashed and snapped our happy faces. And, after this amazing evening, with women who clearly care for me and who I am , I looked at the picture and cringed. "Ugh. My hair looks so dumb."  I resisted the urge to delete the photo, mainly because it captured this night that I never want to forget. Later, I looked at the picture again. No, my bangs did not look just-out-of-the-salon perfect, but then, they...

There's been a lot of talk about resolutions lately, have you noticed? I swear the only thing on TV more than political-crap is diet-crap. I'm feeling a bit bombarded with the pressure to 'make some goals' and 'find areas that need changing'. Well, I'm not doing it!  There, that's my 2012 decision. I'm not making resolutions this year. Shocking, I know.   What I am going to do is pick a word. (Yeah, not a very original idea.  But, my idea to not make resolutions, that's revolutionary, right? No? Whatever.)  Any-way.  I gave this a lot of thought. And I finally came up with my word.  Balance. This is the year of balance- in my home, in my head, with my body and my spirit. I will be seeking equilibrium everyday.  With this in mind, I'm re-posting something I wrote last April.  It's one of those things that I need to be reminded of more often. It helps me remember that to balance my body image, I have to start from within. Eph...

"Beauty is only skin deep. I think what's really important is finding a balance of mind, body and spirit."  -Jennifer Lopez I found that quote and was rather surprised that it came from a celebrity. Then again, it's easy to say beauty is only skin deep when your skin looks like Jennifer Lopez.  I do like what she says and that is one of the things I'm working on.  Like I said in my post before, I'm still struggling with taking it slow, but here goes.  My two goals for this week are these- First, I will listen to my body. For example, when the walnut brownies my kids made call my name (oh, yes, they know my name) I will ignore them. Because I know that eating a palm-sized brownie, while heavenly at first, will result in some serious stomach churning later. And a sugar headache. Do you get a sugar headache? I get lots of headaches, but the sugar-induced kind are especially fierce. Second, I'm going to start reading this- -again . I read it a few year...

(picture from wallpapersfreedesktop.com) Recently, I sat on a park bench.  Half of me in shadow, the oak leaves sending fluttering shade over and past me.  The other half  bathed in sunshine, tingling, slightly burning the skin on my shoulder.  Each half balances the other so that I am the perfect temperature.  Every so often, I get a chill, my body’s response to the exquisite harmony. This is what fall is to me. Balance.  Other seasons do not have this.  Summer is hot, sticky, miserable.  Winter has its bitter cold.  Fall sits in the middle, a respite from their brutal influences.  And, while the other seasons have beauty in their prospective natures, they cannot compare with the amazing portrait that is Autumn. Bright orange and red, balanced with mellow green and brown- even her face has symmetry. I don’t give much credit to astrology.  Don’t read my horoscope, except as entertainment.  But, as a Libra, I must say, I s...

I said in my last post that Sadie has confidence I didn't have at her age. It's true. I don't kid myself, tho', into thinking that she doesn't have insecurities.  None of us get to skate by without them.  But, you'd think that as we grow and mature, we'd be able to get over it. It's easy for me to tell my daughter and the other young women I work with how amazing they are. How they shouldn't listen to the world, shouldn't compare themselves to others, especially those in magazines or on TV.  It's easy because I can see their beauty and potential.  Their light shines so brilliantly, that sometimes I have to squint just to look at them.  "You are beautiful and talented and amazing." Easy. Taking my own advice is like trying to swallow a peach pit. I don't ever look in the mirror and tell myself how amazing I am. When my husband tells me I'm beautiful, I'm grateful and it makes me love him all the more. Yet, inside, I ca...

A recent study found that, on average, women have 13 'I hate my body' thoughts every day.  That's one for every waking hour. When I heard that, my thought was 'only 13?'  Since my breakthrough a week or so ago, this is what I've been battling.  Like they say, old habits die hard. Yeah, like a cockroach. Cut off their heads and my negative thoughts would just run around headless. So, I've been working at it. I've tried to stop those thoughts in their tracks, replacing them with something, anything positive.  Pictures are a huge part of the problem.  Every time I get a picture taken, I look at it and think either I'm fat, or old, or fat and old.  Digital cameras are great, but make it ever so easy to just delete .  I am taking courage from my favorite blogger- nienie .  She posts pictures of herself all the time and every time, I'm taken back by her courage. Part of embracing myself and my beauty is embracing who I am now, right now. Not who I w...

e-piph-a-ny a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of  something This week, I had an epiphany, or as Oprah would say, an 'aha' moment. It didn't really happen all at once. I'd had several days of reading and hearing things that came together like one beautiful puzzle.  The pieces fell into place and I could suddenly see the whole picture.  I know, I know, get on with it. Ok, here it is in a nutshell, or to be more exact, in a quote from C.S. Lewis.  "You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body." I am a soul, or a spirit. And, as a spirit, I am eternal and glorious.  I was given a body to house that spirit, and, someday, my body will be as eternal and glorious as the celestial soul it encompasses.  Now, wait. You may be thinking, 'Didn't you learn this in Primary?' Yes, I did. And, I have taught this truth many times to my children and to many Primary and Young Women classes.  I ...