frazzled & frumpy

I have six siblings. Three sisters and three brothers. (I’m a Libra, so things balance out.) I adore them all. But, there is only one who has been with me my whole, entire life. My older sister, Heidi. I may have been a bit of a disappointment to Heidi. She had an African-American doll and thought that for sure I should be born looking like it. Also, she wanted to name me Donna. Heidi and me with our Grandpa. Heidi is two and a half years older than me. She has gone before me always. Paving the way. I watched her with her friends, in school and at church. I watched how she dressed, how she talked and how she acted.  All the while, I tried to fit my steps to hers and follow along.  And, then, I didn’t.  In high school, our interests and aims diverged into different paths. She tried things I never dared. She had a confidence that terrified me. She dated boys I disliked, and then she married one.  But, it never changed how I felt about ...

Our minds are capable of much. Our spirits are valiant and strong. But, life has a way of wearing us down and sometimes, we simply need a tune-up.  I spent most of last week away from my family. I left on Tuesday and didn't come home till Saturday. During those four days, I spent time with my new, fabulous friends, with my sisters, some time all alone, and two days surrounded by twenty thousand other women. Want to know what heaven sounds like? I think it sounds like 20,000 women singing together.  All of it- amazing. Years ago, this kind of week would have sent the Handy Man into a panic. Now, after all these years, he understands that sometimes I simply need a break. He knows that I will in fact miss him (and the kids), but I will not call every hour, or even every day. (I texted him daily, so he wasn't completely abandoned.) Most importantly, he knows I will come home a 'new woman'. I will be ready to face the daily task of caring for our children and o...

September came and went on the wings of a hawk. It started out slowly, gently teasing me with the promise of a new school year and time to myself. Up, up the days went, the wind blowing away the hurt and heat of summer months.  Then, with abandon, it soared down.  Faster and faster the days sped by, until, suddenly it landed with a flutter of feathers and I tore off my calendar page to face a new month. I love September.  My birth month, I have loved it since the days that it brought balloons and streamers, cake and gifts. It always meant new beginnings.  New school, new teacher, and best of all, brand new school supplies. *sigh* I still get a thrill from the notebooks and pencils that are offered for me to fill with new words and ideas. September is a good month for family.  I spent precious time with my sisters. We went to the fair.  We roamed through booths selling fattening food and 'can't-live-without' products.  We admired the calves and the ...

A couple of my favorite Snapshots and my thoughts about them. Heidi, Me, Ellen Mesa, AZ 1971? Do you see my face? No. Because I was so intent on my dive that I couldn't be bothered to smile for the camera.  This was taken at my aunt's apartment, she and her husband were the managers. Going there was sooo fun! They were young newlyweds.  They sort of spoiled us. I wish I could have that tanned, perfect skin again.  Our heights have become the opposite--Heidi is the shortest, Ellen the tallest. I'm still stuck in the middle. Doesn't it look like we get along so well?  Hehe. Oh, could we fight. We still call each other 'sissy kicker' as a joke. That's what we said when, in a desperate attempt to not get pummeled, one of us would sit in a chair and kick our legs at the attacker. Didn't matter what your sister called you, it worked! Dad the dairy farmer Declo, Idaho 1983 Dad is smiling. This must be before the milking start...

I'm home from my girl's weekend. It was wonderful and I'm having a hard time putting my mind back in 'mommy mode'.  I'll share more about it tomorrow. For now, here are some pictures. The Marriot Center- lots of estrogen! The Y mountain. Celebrating Sarah's birthday. (Notice the princess crown.) Marriot Center, day two. Sisters. Me, Heidi, Sarah, Ellen. Gorgeous, yes? (This one is for you, Larissa.) Long lines for the more popular talks. We had such beautiful weather!

(Okay, the title for this is kind of dumb. I didn't get this post written yesterday, my sister's actual birthday, so I wrote it today. Then, I couldn't think of a title that started with today's letter- R. Sorry, sis.) (And, yes, I realize that tomorrow's letter-S- would've been perfect,  "Sister Sarah, Simply Sarah, Sarah the Statuesque"... But, I already have a post for tomorrow, so today it is.) She began for me as an idea, when my mother told us she was pregnant. My teenage brain had no clue what this meant for my parents. Though, they never expressed anything other joy about her.  The next few months were tumultuous, as my father lost his job and we moved into a tiny, basement house.  I still don't know how they did it. I don't remember much about the beginning of the day we met. I was 15 and it was spring. The trees were budding new green and tractors were surely turning soil in anticipation of the planting to come. These details ...

A while ago, I posted about the Pioneer's Woman's advice about blogging. 'Blog like you're talking to your sister.' I did it then , and thought I'd do that today, as I'm having a hard time focusing my thoughts.  Here's what I would chat with them about. How was your weekend? I'd ask. Mine was good. We got the Handy Man's car fixed after 3 weeks without it. Guess what? It was free. Yes, I realize if we'd taken it in when it first broke down, I wouldn't have had 3 weeks of torture/cabin fever. Let's not dwell on that. Also, I got a free massage on Saturday. (I swapped babysitting with my friend. She thinks she's getting a good deal. I'm pretty sure I'm getting the better end.) It was heaven. Ninety minutes of pure heaven. Seriously, I think I heard angels singing.  (If you live in Utah and would like some heaven, give Brigette a call.) (She didn't pay me to say such things, just thought I'd share. Nobody ge...

Sadie and her BFF My kids have good friends. I love my them. For example, there's D. Now, to understand, D. has two parents and her Japanese mother is the least strict of the two.  Their house is orderly and always, always clean. They have 3 very well-behaved children, who play instruments and attend 'advanced' classes. So, when D. showed up at our front door, mere minutes ago,  I cringed a little.  Today is our 'cleaning-up-before-the-big-guy-in-red-arrives' day, but we're all a little slow on the get-go. I've been on my laptop and the wii is heating up. In other words, my house is a mess.  I invited D.  up to the girls' room to wake them, kicking dirty clothes out of the way as I smiled.  "Don't look in the boy's room" I mentally encouraged.  She didn't flinch or look around in disgust.  She simply stepped over the chaos in the girls' room to rouse them from their wintery slumber.  She's such a good girl. (Plus, she c...

"It's hard to be responsible, adult and sensible all the time. How good it is to have a sister whose heart is as young as your own."- Pam Brown Me (with tongue) and my older sister, Heidi. I've posted about my sisters before.  They are woven into my life's tapestry in such a way that it would destroy  it should I try to take them out. There are many other women in my life whom I consider sisters, who also are entwined in my life.  They give my tapestry color and diversity.  I cherish sisterhood. There is strength in women and more so when those women have a bond.  Men don't have the same connection. Oh, they can be brothers and friends, but I honestly believe that they cannot have the closeness that women do.  We are lucky. Perhaps it's our nurturing nature. Not necessarily our motherhood, because I've felt it, do feel it, with many women who are not mothers.  But, it is something in our capacity to bear children and our tendency to tendernes...

Heidi, Ellen and Me I was reading some advice on The Pioneer Woman' s blog.  She said you should blog like you're talking to your sister. I like that idea. I don't talk to my sisters near enough.  I'm not a phone person and e-mail just isn't the same.  We all have our lives and we're all busy. When we do get together, look out. We can spend hours together-just talking.  Here's what I would ask them about if I saw them this week- Heidi- (she has 4 beautiful daughters and one gorgeous grand daughter.) I would ask how Lindsey's new job is going and how many times has she seen Rowe  this week. Probably alot. Heidi is a good grandma and adores her grandbaby.  Also, I'd like to know how she's surviving with her husband working so far away and is she so excited for the reunion next month when he'll be home? Ellen- (she's a school teacher, so she has the summer off. Lucky.) I'd ask her how her trip on the 4th was and is she going anywher...

 There's a character in my book who is a link . This means she can see the connections between people- good or bad. I got the idea for her gift from a night when my sisters and I were together in a car. We were talking and laughing, the four of us, and I could imagine a connection between us. Like a golden chord, it joined us in a circle.  I know I've blogged about them before, but I will do so again. I love them. I count myself so blessed to have 3 of them.  Heidi, Ellen and Me   Our lives are very different, yet, when we're together, the bonds that were forged through our childhoods erase the lines that separate us. Having just 2 years between each of us, we grew up as playmates. We loved jacks and roller skating. We took swimming lessons together and rode bikes all over whatever neighborhood we happened to live in. Of course, we fought. Sometimes the battles were bloody- mostly when I attacked with my nails. Heehee, ten weapons right at the tips of my fingers!...