frazzled & frumpy

(morguefile.com) She sat on those New Year's days clueless. She celebrated with joy and abandon, looking forward to the year ahead. She thought this year, this one , will be better. This will be the year of happiness and carefree wonder, of success and new thrills. "This," she said to herself, "is my year." Oh, that I could go back and sit with her. I would hold her hand and try not to stifle her smile. Would I destroy the hope she held like a shiny bauble? Or would I let her go on,let her  believe, knowing as I do, that those years would be nothing like she dreamed? Would I tell her gently of the pain that awaited, of the tears she would shed and the ways her heart would never be the same? Would I, could I, prepare her for the unexpected doors she would be forced to open? Wouldn't it be better for her, to know about the trials, the pain, the sorrow? Couldn't she be stronger if she had the chance to be ready, to shore up her walls, fill up her pa

The lights still shimmer downstairs and Andy Williams is serenading me about snow and sleighbells. But, it's over. Once again, the season has come and gone in a mere blinking of an eye. The shopping and wrapping and worrying have melted into forgetfulness. Because, that is not what I'll remember. I'll remember my children gleefully buying gifts for one another, picking them oh, so carefully. I'll remember my two youngest who wrapped up their own possessions--YuGioh cards and stuffed animals and even a bank containing $5.24 (a fortune to a six-year-old)-- and put gift tags on them. I'll remember the squeals of delight at the surprises and the tears that I could not hold back. I didn't do all of the things I'd planned this season. Our scripture list to read each night went mostly ignored. Our service goals fell short. The amazing family home evening lessons turned into watching A Christmas Story and the Grinch. I thought that I'd failed. But,

I hope the light of this season brings peace and joy to each of you.  Merry Christmas.

I started listening to Christmas music on November 1st. Yep, I'm one of those people. Thing is, the music at this time of year is nothing short of magical. It gives us such feelings of good and happy and right . It's one of the things I miss most when Christmas is over. In the spirit of Christmas harmony, here's a little early Christmas gift from me to you.

What happens when I take a shower... Every. Single. Time.

Please excuse my recent absence. Things get in the way. Life happens. We're living in some serious murk here in Utah, so I thought I'd repost something I wrote a couple years ago. Happy Wednesday! December in our Den I lumbered into December heavily this year. A big, fat momma bear, burdened with the care and keeping of her cubs. We moved slowly through the month, reveling in the light displays, the scents and sounds of the season. Talk of gifts and all the excitement kept the cubs rolling and wrestling with anticipation and each other. Then, one day, I looked out to find our world wrapped in grey.  The mountains had mysteriously disappeared along with my cheer. I tried and tried to keep the inversion at bay.  This miserable lead stripe that colors our horizon and buries us in depressing fog.  The pollutant threatened to squeeze its way into our home. Discouragement is as thick and gunky as they come, though it has the peculiar ability to slide into small, un

A friend asked me recently if my marriage was where I thought it would be. This question gave me pause. When this picture was taken, we were so involved in the butterflies-and-stars-in-our-eyes that we didn't see very far ahead. Tomorrow is our twenty-second anniversary. All these years, babies that are now grown children, so many moves, cancer-- those things were dreams un-spun. I knew our lives would not be perfect, but there is no way I could have foreseen the up and downs and twists and turns our marriage would take. Which is ok, because married life is just that--life. We don't get to know what's coming. But, we can do things to keep our relationship strong and grounded, so that when the happy-dance-around-the-house times make way for difficulties, we're prepared. Last year, I shared some of our 'secrets' to a happy marriage. I'm sharing them again because I think they're essential. Because marriage is sacred. Because it is the most importa

So, November is over. And, if you peruse my blog, you will not find a 'NaNoWriMo Winner' badge. Nope, it didn't happen. Things like a limping child and a multitude of doctor visits sort of tripped me up. It's ok. I got a lot of writing done on a new story and... I got a lot of writing done. On the bright side, I did win one thing. Before NaNo started, our local group had a competition. They gave contestants ten random first lines. You pick one, then write a first page using that line. I thought it would be fun. Because I mostly write YA fantasy, it's always a nice break to write something else. The line I chose was- It was common knowledge around town that Bill drank like a fish, the kind of fish that consumes large quantities of cheap scotch on a daily basis. There weren't a lot of contestants, but, hey, a win is a win, right? And, I have a good start on my new book. Here's to good attempts and a big, huge CONGRATS to all those who did win!! Too Late