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Seeing Myself As I Am
Last weekend I went out with some friends. Beautiful, intelligent, caring women who have recently become a part of my life. I'd been looking forward to this night for weeks . We met, we hugged, we gushed over how good it was to be together again. We sat and in-between talking, ordered, and, somehow consumed, good food. We caught up on our lives and discussed future plans-new homes, campaigns, travel and children. It was glorious. Simply glorious. At the end of the night, as we began, reluctantly, to say our good-byes, everyone whipped out their phones for pictures. We flashed and snapped our happy faces. And, after this amazing evening, with women who clearly care for me and who I am , I looked at the picture and cringed. "Ugh. My hair looks so dumb." I resisted the urge to delete the photo, mainly because it captured this night that I never want to forget. Later, I looked at the picture again. No, my bangs did not look just-out-of-the-salon perfect, but then, they
Illusive Peace
Her house is stifling. The fan above her clicks a rhythm and she lays as still as she can, hoping for relief. She pushes herself up, forcing movement that reverberates in her head. Walking through the rooms, she checks windows, praying for the breath of a breeze. She loves this house. Here she nursed and nurtured her babies. The walls show signs of life-- fingerprints and smudges. Smiling faces, captured and framed, adorn the walls. But, the walls are closing in and she retreats to the sanctuary of her room. The thoughts are pressing, intensifying the pain in her head. She tries with all her might to force them out. You're not welcome here . Still, they come. Persistent, they are. The fan beats in time with the judgements- ' not e-nough, not e-nough, not e-nough'. She puts out the welcome mat, hoping for sleep. Instead, she cries, curled into herself. But, the day is like any other, demanding, not to be ignored. Amazing how you can function when you
Priceless :)
ReplyDeleteHe is.
DeleteYou've got yourself quite the future heartbreaker there - with BRAINS!!
ReplyDeleteHe's also quite charming. My husband and I worry about the teenage years!
DeleteHe's SO cute! Nice. The world is wide open when they can read. Getting a library card is such a great milestone. Congrats to him!
ReplyDeleteReading has been a struggle for him. I'm so glad he's starting to find how amazing books can be.
DeleteI remember my first library card! How exiting!!
ReplyDeleteYou know, I don't remember going to the public library much when I was a kid. I got my books from the school library. Remember the card catalog? I always wanted one of my own. All those little papers in cool drawers.
DeleteI still want a card catalog. Think of all the cool stuff I could put in it!
Delete