Christmas Tip #2- Cleaning

I was waiting for the maid to show up today. Tapping my foot. Couldn't believe she was late.
Then I remembered.
I don't have a maid.

I entertain during the holidays for one reason- it makes me clean my house. I know, you're probably wondering why a queen would have to clean her own house. Mostly because the princes and princesses are like any other children and they don't understand the concept of picking up.

There are some ways of cleaning that are more efficient than others, and with Christmas just around the corner, we need to make the most of our time.

One, to mop or not to mop. In my experience, as soon as you mop the floor, someone will spill on it. And, it will probably be Kool-Aid. Red Kool-Aid. So, don't break your back trying to get that floor shiny. Spray  some non-stick cooking spray on the floor, then put on socks and skate your way around. It'll be so shiny you'll need to wear shades.  With that non-stick coating, when they do spill, it'll clean up easy-peasy. And, if you have the butter flavor spray, your kitchen will smell like you've been baking. Score!  

Second-Dusting. Oh, hon, who needs it?  Grab a bottle of glitter and shake it on the shelves.  Now you have atmosphere and it will reflect the lights from the tree.

Third- dishes.  This one is simple. Paper plates. Paper cups. Paper, paper, paper. Grab your duct tape and seal up the cupboards so no one will be tempted.  Then, toss out the dish detergent.  You'll be amazed at how clean your sink will be.  Just be sure to stock up on garbage bags, too.

Fourth- bathrooms. Ugh. I think the gyms have the right answer. If I could build my dream house, the kids' bathroom would have a big drain in the middle of the room. Then, I'd just spray the entire room with a high-powered hose and let it all go down the drain.  Since I don't have that, I have to deal with reality. There really aren't any shortcuts to commode cleaning when you have a house full of boys. If you have any tips for me, I'd be glad to hear them!

Last, the bedrooms.  I don't normally bother with the kids rooms. My answer for that is- shut the door. If they want to live in filth, they can.  But, we have a hard, fast rule-- Santa does not bring gifts to children with dirty rooms.  There will be some last minute scrambling, I'm sure, but not by me. Santa brings me gifts whether my room is clean or not.

 That's because I'm his favorite.

1996
Sometimes I wonder if I even looked in the mirror
before the picture was taken.