I'm No Martha..

Stewart, that is. If you've ever seen my house, this isn't a big surprise. I normally don't compare myself to her. I mean, the woman gets by on 4 hours of sleep a night. Have you seen the news reports lately about how you can lose weight if you get 8 hours? So, technically, Martha should weigh about 400 pounds. No, she's so far out of my league I can only watch from the sidelines. But, there's one thing that really bugs me and I'm wondering how you do it. (Not that. Put you dirty minds away. I know how to do that. Hello, 7 kids.) Nope, I'm talking about folding sheets, specifically the fitted kind. I saw this thing on the Today show where Martha was organizing closets. She had all her sheets folded like they just came out of the package. It looked like this.....

I tried. Really. I held it by the corners and took it slow. Yeah, didn't work. It still came out looking like this.....

I even tried to iron it. Oprah likes her sheets ironed. Of course she doesn't do it. She has a 'sheet ironer' who probably gets paid more than my husband to make sure her sheets are fresh and wrinkle-free. After trying to iron my sheets I realized she deserves to make more than my husband. What a joke. I couldn't get any of the wrinkles out and the elastic edges kept rolling over the iron. They didn't feel any different either. I guess you have to have the expensive, 4000-thread-count kind for the ironing to work. In any case, I've accepted that my closet will never look like Martha's. I'm lucky if I have a clean set of sheets to put on at 1am when one of my precious darlings pukes or pees on my bed. But, if you have any tips on how to fold them nicer, I'd love to hear it. Until then, I'll just 'tuck and roll' then shove them on the shelf.

Martha, I am no threat, your kingdom is secure. You can rest easy, for four hours anyway.


  1. I'm a minimalist when it comes to SOME things. One of those things is sheets. I don't keep extra sets. They come off the bed in the morning, get washed, dried and put strait back on. When they start to look thread bare I'll consider buying new sheets. No need for folding and putting away. It works for me, but I don't have puking kids anymore.

  2. I have the same system as Lisa, mostly because when there is extra money sheets are the last thing on the list!
    I know how to fold them in theory but in practice they would probably look the same as yours! :)

  3. I don't know how to fold the fitted sheet either. The tuck and roll method works for me. And I do have an extra set of sheets because I never manage to wash and dry them on the same day that they come off of my bed. Takes too much thought on my part.

  4. I have gone to only one set of sheets per bed for that exact reason! How in the world do you fold those things. I'm thinking that someone local here told me they can do it well. Maybe mandy? I can't remember -- anyway, apparently there is SOMEONE who can do it. Just not me.:)

  5. I learned from Martha how to fold the fitted sheets. Now they don't look exactly like they came out of the package. But they don't look too bad I have to say. Tucking the corners into each other, thats how i do it.

  6. The only time I felt even half way satisfied with my linen closet was the 'one time' I decided to roll everything! It looked cool and was nice and tidy...for a day!


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