A Not-So-Desperate Housewife

I watch TV, this much is true. But, years ago, I gave up soap operas. Since then, I haven't even been tempted. Then, a couple weeks ago, I was folding laundry and looking for something interesting to watch. I stopped on a rerun of Desperate Housewives. What a mistake!! After one hour, I was hooked. I watched pretty much every day for three weeks. I tried to rationalize it. It has better acting and better stories than daytime soap operas. Besides, I liked it because I had so much in common with these women. Really? Sure. Here's the comparison:
Susan- is a writer and has one daughter. I want to be a writer and, hey, I have one daughter. She's also in love with a man who doesn't know she exists. I am in love with a man and have kids who pretend to not know I exist.
Gabby- Shops almost everyday for clothes, make-up and shoes. I shop almost everyday (for cereal, bread and milk) and I own clothes, make-up and shoes.
Lynette- has a sweet husband and more kids than anyone on her street. Ditto.
Bree- is compulsive about her housework, makes gourmet dinners for family every night and is a perfect size 2. I, um, let's see....all right, I admit it, I have nothing in common with these women. (It's a good thing actually, considering that they have murders on their street on a regular basis.)
So, if I'm not watching because I can relate, then what's the attraction? Maybe it's that their problems are so outrageous, they make mine seem small and normal. I've never had my husband murdered by my pharmacist boyfriend, or had to ask my Chinese maid to be a surrogate for my baby. The stories, which totally sucked me in, seem so ridiculous when I try to explain them.
Maybe part of it is that my life seems mundane. I hate when I see someone I haven't seen in a while and they ask what I'm up to. Just once, I'd love to have some exciting news- "Oh, I'm doing all right, my husband just opened a restaurant, then fell and threw out his back, so now I'm running it." or "My boyfriend woke up from his coma and doesn't remember me." Instead, I have to tell them, it's the same old thing. "My kids are perfecting the art of back-talking. I spend too much time on the computer. Our big vacation this year is going to Rupert, Idaho." Thrilling.
I quit cold turkey on Thursday. I will admit I'm having withdrawls. When ten o'clock rolled around, I didn't know what to do. I completely avoided the TV altogether. I'm trying to focus on the good things I have. I may not have a fancy house, or a big career, but that's ok. I also don't have children who try to kill me (tho' they may want to) or neighbors who are trying to steal my husband, (tho' they may want to). The only desperation I feel is for a few quiet moments, or a full nights' sleep without a child's knees in my back. My life may be boring, but I'm glad it isn't a soap opera. If it was it would be called, "The Old and the Listless." Tune in tomorrow for another boring episode.


  1. You're right. My mundane life as "just the mom" isn't too bad. Thanks for making me feel better.

  2. I always wondered about that show - what the attraction was...now I know what I'm missing and that I'm not missing that much - we've got all the excitement we'd ever need in our own backyard...and front yard...and bedroom...and little bedrooms...etc! Thanks for putting it in perspective!

  3. Wah ha ha ha!:) We're all desperate in our own way, right?

  4. I'm loving your blog...so glad you started it. You're writing is so creative and sarcastic. Keep it up.


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