Friday, November 20, 2009

Knew Moon

That's the kind of mistake I've been making all morning. I'm working on 2 hours of sleep here, and it's not a good thing. I went to the New Moon premier at midnight and the whole evening was a huge reminder to me-that I'm old. Oh, I know, if you were here, you'd say, "You're not old." and I'd say, "Oh, thanks, you're sweet." (Because I'm working on being gracious about compliments.) But, I'd be thinking, "You're lying to me because you've been taught to be kind to old people."
It all started when I arrived at my sister's friend's house. As soon as I walked in, I knew I was the oldest person in the room. Cool when you're 18, not when you're 43. I listened to these 20-30-something girls talk about their kids. Even though I have kids the same age, they have something I'm lacking. It's that fresh-faced enthusiam for motherhood. Yeah, I lost that a long time ago. It was replaced by good old-fashioned cynisism and exhaustion. I was determined to have a good time, though.
We had dinner, then shopped a little before heading to the theater to grab a place in line. Luckily, they let us line up inside. We pulled up a piece of floor. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than the alternative of standing for 3 hours. I had to constantly move my legs. I said it was because my foot was falling asleep. Not true. It was because my hips were killing me. I didn't say that, though. Nothing will tag you as an old person faster than hip pain. I might as well have snuck in prune juice and bran flakes. Just tattoo 'Old Fart' on my forehead and be done with it.
Later, I made a Brady Bunch reference. My sister, yes, my sister (who was born when I was 15) looked at me like I'd spoken in another language. "Have you ever seen it?" 'Maybe once.' she said. Ugh! I think I can feel the hot flashes starting.
Lastly, was the movie. I'm a little dumbfounded by the whole 'Jacob vs Edward' thing. How are you on Team Jacob? Did you not read the books? She doesn't choose him. Duh. Anyway. I've heard alot about how hot Jacob is. I don't feel right talking like that. I saw Taylor Lautner, who plays Jacob, on the news. Do you know how old he is? 17. Yes. Seven.Teen. Do you know how old my oldest son will be in 11 days? Yep. Seventeen. So, little Jacob is young enough to be my child. I can't drool over him without feeling creepy.
Now, it's morning and my eyes feel like they have sand in them. I have a headache and my brain-hand coordination is seriously impared. Staying out all night was fun. Will I do it again? Not for a while. Next time, maybe I'll go out with some people closer to my age. We can play canasta and talk about our denture problems. Ok, so I'm not that old. Yet.

4 comments:

  1. OH...yes! I feel your hip pain! I, too, find myself with the young ones who have kids my kids' ages (the youngest ones) and they have no idea what is ahead of them....but I do! Is it bad that I sometimes giggle inside thinking of what's to come for them?
    I wish I could of gone with you!! I LOVED the Brady Bunch!

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  2. Yup, right there with ya! I went lastnight, but was so excited because we got prescreening tickets, we wouldn't have to stay up late (years ago I would have thought the idea a bore!). We were in at 6 and out before 8:30! (I was still up till 1:30, but that's another story!) My back hurts, my feet hurt, and heaven forbid I should forget to pluck!! (TMI?) The worst part for me? I feel like a fruit plucked too early. There are plenty of women in my neighborhood my age, but NONE of them have children the same age as mine. You'd think I had my kids when I was 12!! I why aren't they all frumpy looking like I was when my kids were that age?
    I should just stop now.

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  3. I laughed until I cried at this post! I couldn't quite put my finger on the difference between the younger moms and me until I read that "Fresh faced enthusiasm for motherhood" comment! LOL!! I completely feel your pain and it's hard being the oldest mom in the group...yet your kids are the same. By my age those moms will be grandmas - hip, fashionable and YOUNG! I got 15 years before the last one flies the coop...yes, you heard me gals that will make me 57! Thanks for being my only 'real mom' friend! :D

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  4. You had fun and you know it! I'm glad you came with me though. I love doing stuff with you even though were 15 years apart!!!

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