Why??

Oof! My three year-old just climbed off my lap. Yup, he did it again. Elbowed me. I don't understand why my chest is such a target. I mean, luckily I'm not pregnant, so the girls aren't as tender or sensitive. But, seriously, why is it that whenever one of my kids climbs on me, his arms, elbows, hands, knees or head always seem to hit their mark?

It's not like they're big, or anything. They're miniscule, really- I blame it on all the breastfeeding. First, they suck all the life out of them, now they're going to pound them to dust. I'm thinking of investing in some body armor. You know, an elbow-proof vest. Kevlar would surely do the trick.
I have dreams of getting them, um, enhanced. I could get them lifted, but that'd be like tacking up a deflated balloon. Not a pretty sight. I'll have to wait, though, till the little monsters are all grown. If they're a target now, imagine what a poke-magnet they'd be at a D-cup.