Monday, July 19, 2010

Someone to Watch Over Me

My two teenage boys tower over me. It sometimes seems strange to think of them as little, but then, it doesn't feel like that long ago. I remember well when they were in 1st grade and kindergarten. They walked to the bus each morning. I could see them as they went down our block, across a street and right up until they got to my friend, Kim's house. There, they would get their two friends and the four of them would go on to the bus stop. I would stand on my front step while they walked each morning. One day, Richie got down our street and looked back at me. "Mom, will you watch me?" I nodded and waved. Confident in the knowledge that I was watching, he went on. I've often thought of that day and how it parallels my life. I know that many times, I have looked heavenward and asked, 'Are you watching me?' We have an inherent need to know that we're being watched over, that someone cares. I'm grateful for the many instances in my life that have assured me someone does. It's difficult in this world, though, with the adversary trying his best to confuse us and make us doubt the love of our Heavenly Father and Older Brother. It's a struggle since we can't remember our life before when we daily basked in the light of His love. The world is dark and does a good job of dimming that light. So, what do we do? We follow my son's example. We ask. Don't worry how Heavenly Father will react. How would you react if one of your children asked if you loved them? You'd take them in your arms and assure them of all the love you have in your heart. Our Father may not actually put his arms around us, but He can and will let us know. This happened to me recently. I was watching a BYU devotional on tv and the speaker was talking about asking Heavenly Father to let us know we're loved. So, nothing formal, right there sitting on my bed, I said a prayer in my head, and asked, 'Do you love me?' I had the clearest picture in my head of a heavenly hand under my arm, ready to steady me and keep me up. This was a profound scene because there are days that I feel so weighted down that it's almost hard to stand. To know that He's there, waiting to put out His hand and support me means so much. I try to make sure my kids know I love them and care about them. I'm also trying to help them understand that there is Someone who is all-powerful, who knows all, but who also is very aware of them, their struggles, their triumphs, their everyday everything. He knows them and He loves them and He is always watching.

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