Wednesday, January 19, 2011

There has to be an answer,

but, I don't know what it is. A couple nights ago, I'd just gone to bed when I got this horrendous pain in my ear. I know. Weird place for pain. Then, my back started to hurt, so I turned onto my back, hoping that would help. It didn't. I sat up. Immediately, the pain burst through my chest. It literally felt like I was being stabbed straight through my chest and back. No, no, no. I've had this pain before. It sometimes spreads to my jaw, which it did that night, but the ear was a new thing. I didn't worry too much, it always goes away 5 minutes or so after it begins. I sat ramrod straight, trying without success to ease the agony. 5 minutes. 10. I prayed and prayed that it would stop. I wasn't sure if Guy was awake or not. I tried not to make any sound, but I'm sure my breathing was a bit erratic. I checked my pulse, which seemed fine. 15 minutes. This is when the tears started. I couldn't help it. The pain would subside for a minute, but I could tell it wasn't completely gone, then it would start back up again. I pushed my hand into the mattress behind me, trying to somehow make my back straighter than it already was. Guy was awake, asking if I was ok and if I wanted a Lortab. I didn't think I could drink anything. 20 minutes. My crying was pretty hard at this point and Guy said he was taking me to the ER. No way! Though my thoughts were basically on the pain, I could imagine in my head the tests they would want to perform and the enormous bill we would have to pay. 25 minutes. Sobbing. Praying. Please let this stop. Guy went to the closet to get dressed. "I'm not going to the hospital." I could just see our tax return disappearing like smoke on the wind. "Will you give me a blessing?" He agreed. 30 minutes. I sat and prayed and waited. Just a few minutes after the blessing the pain receded as suddenly as it had appeared. I was able to go to sleep, though, sadly, my husband laid awake worrying. I love that man!! For the past 12 years or so, my children have had insurance through the state's CHIP program. this has been a godsend. It's seen us through countless well-child checks, ER visits, tests and even a couple hospital stays. Because of it, I have taken on the 'better safe than sorry' train of thought. My husband's workplace has 4 employees. Four. Offering insurance just isn't feasible. His boss told him that if they were forced to offer insurance, it would literally put them out of business. Luckily, we've been basically healthy, but the thought has been picking at the corner of my mind. We're getting older and health issues seem to increase with the years. For the two of us, for now, my mantra is 'Wait and see.' I applaud Pres. Obama for trying to fix the healthcare problem. Because it is a problem. I'm not sure he's found it. I am sure that there are millions (46 to be exact) of people like me who pray for good health. And that someday, someone will figure all this out.

4 comments:

  1. Matt was approved for PCN - kind of the adult version of CHIP through the state - have you tried that?

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  2. Ummm, I'm kind of concerned about the pain you're having? Do you know anyone that you could at least talk to about what your pain could be? That's scary. Being business owners, we know the struggles people have with Health Insurance.
    Look after yourself.

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  3. We have PCN but it only pays for prescriptions and basic preventative care. They don't cover hospital visits.

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  4. I'm not familiar with PCN, what does it stand for? We have to pay everything up front till we hit a certain amount. We are also fortunate to have 2 doctors in the ward and my running mentor is a nurse. I yack her ear off everytime I get any kind of symptom. She'll tell me what to try or if I should go have a test run and which specific test to ask for. (Tests alone are expensive!)

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