Thursday, November 3, 2011

Embracing Our Average-ness


Can you keep a secret? Just between you and me?
My kids aren't above average.

There, I said it.  

 If you held up one of those measuring sticks that scales in IQ and accomplishments, they wouldn't rate very high.  I'm not being mean. They're smart, all of them.  They're talented, too.  But, when it comes to a comparison between them and the rest of the world, well, they get about a 'C'.  Average. Coasting along in the middle. 

Is there anything wrong with that?

I mean, there has to be someone who's average, doesn't there?  Otherwise, why would we have the word?  We have to have something for all those overachievers to do better than.  Really, my kids are doing a service.  Giving their peers someone to surpass.  
Your welcome. 

See, these kids have been ignored way too long.  I think it's high time we embrace our average-ness.  Wear it proudly, like a badge, or a bumper sticker.
"I'm proud of my average student." 

Why not?  We can't all be Steve Jobs or Bill Gates.  When we tell the children that they can be president- come on! You know that isn't true.  There are lots of kids who don't have a chance in hell of living in the White House.  They could live in a white house, or trailer, or apartment.  There are still choices. 

I'm not saying they shouldn't have goals or that we shouldn't have high expectations.  I just want to ease the pressure a bit.  Not for them. For me. 

It's my fault, I'm sure. Isn't it always? (Mom's fault?)  I didn't push them enough in elementary.  Didn't read to them enough.  Should've volunteered more, joined PTA.  Obviously, my stress level wasn't nearly high enough.  

Mostly, I get tired of  the mommy comparison game.  Whose kid gets better grades, plays more instruments, does more sports.  I hate crouching down and hoping no one notices that I'm not bragging up my kids.  You know those beginning of the year questionnaires from teachers? The ones that ask for your kids strengths? Hate them.  I feel like it's a test and I just don't know the answer.  And, if I don't get it right, they're going to peg my kid as the one with the lame mom who doesn't believe in them.  

I do. Believe in them. They're awesome in so many ways.  Just because they don't excel academically doesn't mean they aren't destined for greatness.  Maybe that's why I had so many, in hopes that I wouldn't mess them all up. Maybe out of 7, I'll get one of them right.  And the rest of us can ride on her coat tails.

7 comments:

  1. Funny, I just wrote about a similar topic today. The Mom Olympics - I'm not playing.

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  2. I love it! And in the end, I think you're right, it's about the pressure we put on ourselves, not the kids, that we don't need. Plus, I've always hated the words "normal" or "average" - who gets to decide what OUR definition of those things is anyway? So glad to have *met* you through NaBloPoMo!

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  3. As a Mom of a couple of those "not above average' students I totally get what you're saying. I think they will all be okay in spite of their average school performance. =)

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  4. Don't we all get caught up in that - compare and contrast of kids - whether we are vocal about it or not is another thing. I agree, I don't like it.

    I didn't any of my kids up for any extra curricular this season and man you'd thought I was from another planet.:)

    BTW, I happen to like average! I am average. The older my kids get the more I wonder how I got through school -- SERIOUSLY! I don't know a darn thing -- google is my best friend. And apparently, I'm doing okay....as average.:)

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  5. I didn't *sign* any of my kids up...oops!:)

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