Monday, December 19, 2011

The Gift of Parenthood

I've been watching my dvr-ed episode of Parenthood. I have a love/hate relationship with this show. All the conflict gives me gas. No really.  I only watch it on my dvr so I can fast forward through the fights.  Why must you argue with each other? Can't we all just get along?
 I do love that there is an autistic boy, tho' he seems to have every single affect of the disorder, which is odd. This particular episode, Max (the autistic boy) goes off by himself and gets lost.  I had anxiety just watching it.  Honestly, I need to go get a Tums.

Often, when I tell someone how many kids I have, they get this look.  Like I've done something amazing. Hey, I'm fertile. That doesn't make me a good mom.  I don't think I have any more experience than other moms. I might have more experiences, but only because I have more kids. Parenthood is a learning process and we all have our own curriculum.  What helps me may not help you.  I recently saw an article on-line titled, "10 things every mother should know".  I didn't read it. If I don't know those things by now, it's probably too late.
If I wrote that kind of list, here's what it might say-

10 Things You Should Know if You Have More than 4 Kids
1-Never take more than one child to the store. For heaven's sake, don't ever take 5. Oh, the looks you'll get. Then you also run the risk of having the cashier ask, "Are those all your kids?"  (No, I picked them up in the parking lot.)
2- If you give your 4 and 5 year-olds an adult dose of cough medicine, they'll sleep like babies for hours. Of course, don't do this. It's dangerous. And possibly addictive. To mom. (Seriously, I only did it once and it was a mistake.)
3- Reading to your kids is important. If you read your copy of Twilight aloud to them, it still counts.
4- Those kid-leashes may look awful, but they're much better than losing your kid at Sea World.
5- Buy milk every time you're at a store that sells it. Don't call home to see if you need milk. You do.
6- Sleep any time you can.  That includes church.  Just lean your head on your hand and close your eyes.  The bishop will  think you're pondering what's being said. If you can manage to take a kid to the foyer, even better. Those couches are comfy.
7- Chasing toddlers down the street when they run from you counts as exercise.  Carrying a diet Coke and not spilling it develops balance.
8- Don't let those 'hollywood moms' get to you. If you had that kind of money, you'd have a nanny and a housekeeper, and could look like a model, too. Or maybe not, but at least you'd have a clean house and someone to take care of  the kids while you watch a 'Hoarders' marathon.
9- Playing Michael Jackson-the Experience with your four-year-old  is fun.  Having your teenagers catch you playing it, not so fun.
10- Don't worry about how your messing up your kids. Those 'perfect parents' you see? Not perfect. They're faking it, just like the rest of us.

Brand new parents.
We had NO idea what we were in for!

9 comments:

  1. Before I had Lilian (she is our caboose after having a 6 year break) I took my older 3 kids on a cruise. While on board I can't count how many times people looked at me strangely and asked/commented, "You have THREE kids???" I thought it was funny. Because here in Utah I would take my 3 kids various places and people would say, "Oh, you only have three kids?" :) Made me laugh.

    And by the way...I totally read all the Twilight books out loud to my daughters. :)

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  2. Haha! I liked... "Hey, I'm fertile. That doesn't make me a good mom." Darn! That's what I was hoping for.

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  3. I didn't know "Parenthood" had an autistic character. I'll have to check it out. Then again, I might share your anxious reaction so maybe not. ;)

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  4. Ms BK- There was an episode where the autistic boy's 'friends' were making fun of him and he didn't realize it. That one hit way too close to home.
    Nicole- You'd think the Man upstairs would bestow extraordinary fertility on extraordinary women. Not so in my case.
    Sarah- It's funny how the perspective is so different in Utah, isn't it?

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  5. I once took my three and a neighbor's two to the grocery store. As an added bonus, I was 23 years old but looked 16 at best. The whispers and stares were fantastic. FANtastic. One woman leaned over to her teenage daughter, whispering AND pointing.

    RE: Parenting tips, etc. I was the oldest of four and my mother used to tell me I was their "experiment"--the person they tested all their techniques on. I feel honored to this day. ;)

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  6. PS--I love Max--I don't know much about the actor who plays him, but he does a supernaturally good job in the part. Actually pretty much every actor on the show hits it out of the park with regularity, in my opinion. I'm currently four episodes behind and this made me really want to get caught up.

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  7. I "only" have THREE but can relate so much to your 1-10! The diet coke cracked me up . . . diet pepsi for me, but it's the same thing :) Any mom knows that it's the hardest and best job in the world.
    I love Parenthood . . .I don't know why - - I can't stand the matriarch . . .someone analyze that and tell me why.

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  8. M.Mom- I love the kid who plays Max, too. I thought maybe he WAS autistic until I saw him in something else.
    Judy- I'm not a fan of the matriarch either, tho I've loved Bonnie Bedelia in other things. I think she's too wishy-washy sometimes.

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  9. Living in a peaceful caring relationship is wonderful. I grew up in a noisy nosy large family that fought and I am so glad for what I currently have.

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