Jitters

"Don't get your hopes up."
"Not everyone can win."
"It's great that you tried."

My first year at college, I knew what I wanted to be. A Vikadette.  That was the name of the drill team at Ricks College where I attended.  I'd seen them perform when I was a Stingerette on our high school squad.  I loved the way they looked in their sequined costumes.  They all had big hair and oodles of  maturity.  They were fabulous.

When I told my roomates I was trying out, they gave me funny looks. 'Really?'
'Oh, yes.'
Okay, they shrugged.  We didn't know each other well enough yet for them to care.  What their doubt was trying to tell me is that in the years since I'd seen the college team, things had gone a bit downhill.  They were sort of the laughing stock of the college.

But, off I went to the audition.  I learned the required routine and performed it fairly flawlessly.  When the names were read, mine wasn't among them.
I was crushed.
I dragged myself home and flung my leotard-clad body on my bed.  I cried and cried. My new roomie tried to comfort me. It didn't work.  I felt bad about it for weeks. Until I saw the drill team perform.
They were awful.
I was so glad I wasn't out on the field.

The next semester, I tried out for the modern dance team, and made it. If I'd been on the Vikadettes, I couldn't have been on the dance team.  One of the best times of my life happened because of one of the greatest disappointments. (At the time. I've had much greater disappointments since then.)

Tonight, I don't know what to write because my mind is all muddled by the contest I entered. (Not Publisher's Clearing House. hehe)  The winner is announced tomorrow. I've told myself it's okay if I don't win. And it is. But, I may fling myself on my bed (without the leotard) and feel sorry for myself a while.  Then, I'll try to remember that good things can and will happen, winner or not.
Right?

P.S. I just found out the winner is announced tomorrow (Friday), so one more day of nerves. =0P