Wednesday, October 3, 2012

A Working Woman- Is there any other kind?


I've been resisting it for years. Years. But, now that all my kids are in school, the reality has hit.

I have to go to work.

Problem is, I've been a stay at home mom for most of the past 20 years. With the exception of a few part-time jobs along the way, my skill set is firmly rooted in children and home. Doesn't make for a very compelling resume. Too bad my talents aren't worth more outside the walls of our house. If so, I'd be set.

Here's a list of a few of my skills-


  • Diaper Changer- I can clean any diaper mess with a total of two wipes. (With the exception of the 'running down the legs' kind. That one requires a tub.)
  • Nail Clipper- I have been clipping a total of 70 fingernails and 70 toenails for years. I've never cut anything but the nail. Maybe once.  Don't ask Adam. It brings back too many memories. 
  • Laundry Aid- this one could actually be marketable. If they don't mind the clean clothes being left in a basket for days. 
  • Dishwasher Loader- seriously, I should get paid for this. I'm the only one who does it right. (Cups on the top rack, people.)
  • Vomit Cleaner-Upper-  admittedly, this is one of my least favorite skills, but one I'm pretty proficient at. We learned early on that you don't ever vacuum afterward, even if it seems dry. Unless you want an excuse to buy a new vacuum.
  • Referee- again, a marketable skill. Put me in with those NBA divas. I'll keep those elbows from flying.  "Don't look at me like that Lebron. You know what you did. Oh, yeah? No Wii for you for a week." They'd listen.
  • Non-distracted Driver- I have driven long distances in a car full of children, while they fought, and screamed and demanded snacks. I have held the steering wheel with one hand while doing a plethora of things with the other, including- holding a bottle, wiping a nose, comforting a bawling baby and threatening (you know,the wagging finger.)
  • Breastfeeding Champion- thing is, there are probably places that would pay for this skill, but, eww.
I'm a cook, a waitress, a maid, a therapist, a coach, a teacher and more things than you want to sit and read. I'm underpaid and overworked. Too bad the 'workforce' doesn't recognize my contribution in a monetary way. I'd be rich and could continue to stay home.

17 comments:

  1. Oh, that dreaded day. Ugh. You know, you ARE very talented - - no man could do half of what you and all the rest of us mothers do or have done. There must be some way to put all that talent to use in the "paying" work world :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm still working on making the writing pay, till then, I'll have to settle for retail. :(

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  2. You know what I'm gonna say....come back to interpreting! It wouldn't take long for you to refresh your skills! COME ON! Good $ per hour! I could mentor you! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, the 'refreshing' would take way too long. Plus, I don't think there's a lot of demand for interpreters in Layton.

      Delete
  3. http://ellieponders.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/the-economic-value-of-a-homemaker/

    This is of no practical use, but it always cheers me up.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I dunno. I think you've kind of earned retirement. And weekly spa trips, no?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know what really sucks? I've been trading babysitting for bi-weekly massages, and, now I'll lose that. I'm so bummed.

      I'm still waiting for all the money to come rolling in from my blog. Guess I need more than 7 readers, eh?

      Delete
    2. It's all about quality, not quantity, right? (;

      Delete
  5. I can totally picture you using the Mom voice on Lebron. I speak as someone who regularly employs that voice with men my own age and older at the halfway house as well as with all the younger guys. It's hilariously effective--all the more so if you call them by their full name. "Listen here, Jonathan Matthew Smith, your behavior is UNACCEPTABLE!"

    Good luck venturing forth!

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  6. Seriously, do you have to??? Speaking as a Mum who has worked through nursery and school stay at home for a little longer, be there when they get home from school...it's what I miss the most.

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  7. Hmm. I'm not sure what I think about this, on so many levels. I'm going to putter off to think about it. This probably doesn't help you in the immediate situation, but perhaps lots of extra thinking will help somehow? I don't know. I'll include that in my thinking.

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  8. Is there something you think you might enjoy doing as a job? How about part-time ... just to get into the feel of things?

    P.S. Papa is Preacher would like to cordially invite you to our very first Link Up party beginning tomorrow (Thursday) at 9:30 a.m. going 'till Tuesday. Please see this post for more info: http://papaisapreacher.blogspot.ca/2012/10/tidbit-thursday.html
    We'd really be honored to see you there!

    ReplyDelete

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