My house is clean 90% of the time. That's 6 out of 7 days. With that fact, I've found that the law of averages is totally bogus. Why? Because anytime someone 'drops by' my house- it's dirty.
Case in point- Monday night. I was enjoying my evening, faffing around on the internet when the doorbell rang. Weird. We rarely get visitors afterhours. I ignored it, sure it wasn't for me. It was. Dang!
When I got downstairs, there was a strange man at the door. Not strange in a wearing-a-skirt-and-gauges way, but in a never-seen-you-before kind of way. I hesitantly said 'hello', hoping he wasn't a really aggressive bill collector.
"Hi, I'm Blaine's father."
Oh, it's my daughter's-soon-to-be-fiance's dad. "I'm here to pick up a phone."
While my other kids tried to find said phone, we made chit-chat. He was very pleasant and friendly. But, all I could think was,
This room is a filthy mess.
Honestly, I couldn't even concentrate because I wanted so badly to start running around the room picking up sweatshirts and Wii remotes. But, I'm sure that would have brought more attention to the filth, so I used my foot to scoot a chip bag behind me and tried to ignore the rest.
He went on about Blaine and their plans for California and I kept wondering if I could crawl under one of the piles of junk and hide. My house is clean like 70% of the time. Why, oh, why do you have to come on one of the three days it's not?
The small talk continued and my brain almost melted with the effort of listening to him and mentally imagining what he'd say to his wife when he got out to the car. ("I think there was a piece of cheese on the couch.")
It's clean 50% of the time! I wanted to scream out to her. Really, I do own a vacuum. And, I use it! Please don't think your soon-to-be daughter-in-law is as lazy as I am.
Finally, we got everything squared away and he said good-bye. I watched him walk out to the car and almost collapsed.
It's clean, like one day a week, for sure. Can we just plan on people coming by on that day? We'll make it Sunday.
If you have to come on another day, for the sake of my sanity, call first.