She's a temperamental woman, that Mother Nature. She has a way of bringing out the worst in me. There are seven deadly sins, and I'm pretty sure, this winter, she's helped me cover them all.
Envy- oh, she makes me envious. I look on at neighbors who own snowblowers, and I feel a need to push a gas-powered-snow-sucking-then-shooting machine. I would dance in the mini snowstorm it created. I would clear my driveway and those of all my neighbors. I would make a snow-maze for the kids to get lost in. I would dance down the street blowing snow all the way.
I also covet those with snow-worthy vehicles. As I trudge down the slick roads in my Escort that is almost old enough to drink, I long to have a car that is youthful and capable and that doesn't limp around on a donut. I almost wish I could slide off into a snowbank. Leave it there till spring. Maybe it would grow into a minivan.
Gluttony- Ever heard of stress eating? Ever driven on snow-packed roads? I could finish off an entire bag of peanut butter M&M's just getting to my kids' school.
Greed-No you may not have any of my diet Coke. No, I will not share the good hot chocolate. My kids only like sharing two things- germs and anything that is mine. Sorry, you can keep your viruses and I'll keep my stuff.
Pride- What does pride have to do with winter? Fashion. This is the one time of year that I like how I look. Bulky sweaters, long sleeves, boots and scarves. Dang, I look good.
Wrath- In all our years of marriage, my husband has taken a handful of sick days. Honestly, I have tried to get him to sluff work and stay home with me. I've used all of my feminine wiles to convince him. Never works. This winter he has taken two days- both of them when he was in-the-bed-don't-talk-to-me-or-touch-me sick. What do I get to do? Make him chicken noodle soup--and all my other, usual, everyday tasks. hmpf! When I get sick, do I get to stay in bed while someone else makes me soup and cleans the house? In my dreams.
Lust- Shhh. This one doesn't involve the Handy Man. I'm talking about other strange desires. Like the men who drive snowplows. I find them strangely attractive. Wearing their neon orange vests driving those powerful machines, shoving the muck out of the way. Put your plow down, Mister, I'll follow you anywhere.
Sloth- Oh, she makes me lazy. When the snow starts to fly, I just want to sit at home, sipping cocoa, watching the Mentalist re-runs and supervising my children's cleaning projects. But, she laughs at me, knowing I must go to parent-teacher conferences and the bank. She snickers as I shovel the driveway-again- all while she works furiously to fill it back up. Rude.
Mother Nature- temptress and tease. Bring us some sunshine, I dare you.