Guest Poster Polly Scott

For my first guest post, I'd like to introduce Polly. We met at the first LTYM rehearsal. She was so quick to respond to my request for posts, kind of like that friend that doesn't shy away from helping you move. She's funny and smart and I'm thrilled to call her my friend.

For my first guest post, I'd like to introduce Polly. We met at the LTYM rehearsal. She was so quick to respond to my request for posts, kind of like the friend that doesn't shy away from helping you move.  She's funny and smart and I'm thrilled to call her my friend.

As a humor writer, Polly Scott is known for her blunt comedy and honest confessions.  Her funny, yet poignant stories help people reconcile themselves with themselves.   As a freelance web copywriter and editor, she creates concise, clear text.   She studied writing, obtaining her B.S. and M.Ed and perfected her presentation skills teaching middle school English and writing at Weber State University.  Author of Forget About Grammar: Clean Writing.  Clear Blogging, Polly entertains while helping everyone from bloggers to businesses write well.  You can find her at www.comingtogrips.com

Coming to Grips with Oprah

When I was young (and ever since), I pretended to be interviewed by Oprah. 

In fact, that’s sort of why I started writing.

It will not end well.

Oprah: So, Polly what motivates you to write?

Polly: I was motivated by the prospect of being interviewed by you, Oprah.

Oprah: Really?  And what did you hope to accomplish?

Polly: To be interviewed by you.  That’s all.  [Blank stare.]  Oh, and since I’m here, would you mind measuring me properly for supportive undergarments?

I haven’t watched Oprah since 2010, when we moved into our small apartment.  We sold our TV because I believe passionately in feng shui and that TV had bad energy.  Mostly in the form of The Millionaire Matchmaker. And the fact that finding a place for it was like trying to fit a queen sized bed into a dishwasher.

I feel a little guilty about neglecting Oprah during her final season.  Particularly because, had I been there for her, she would have given me a car and a pair of Classic Sparkles UGG Australia Boots.

I heard that Oprah created an entire network, so there’s a silver lining to all this.  With 24 hours of programming to fill, she’s probably desperate by now.  What would you think about The Coming to Grips Show?  It would consist of me doing pretend interviews and quoting movies.  Hopefully, I can schedule Peter Walsh to make an appearance.  Surely, he could find a way to get a TV into our apartment.