Friday, July 5, 2013

As I Am a Role Model

 This is a series I will be writing as I try to find a way to get past my self-criticism and love myself 'As I Am'.  I hope you'll join me in the challenge.


I don't think I called myself 'fat' in front of my kids. (I don't think.)  I do remember times when one of them would say something about me being fat. My husband would get angry, I would tell  him, "It's ok, they're not being mean, just truthful." I smiled and brushed it off. Inside, it felt like a white-hot dagger.

While I may not have called myself fat, I know my attitude and actions said it loud and clear. Not wanting to put on a swimsuit, not doing activities (like volleyball or other sports) because I worried about how I'd look, cringing at myself in the mirror.

Yesterday, I read this article, which is a letter from a daughter to her mother. It gripped me and made me cry.  It needs to be read. By mothers, sisters, friends, anyone who is a role model to young girls. It needs to be read by women. We need to realize how our attitudes about ourselves affect our children and all the other girls (and boys) we come in contact with.

It also needs to be read by men. They need to know how their comments affect us, and everyone around them.

Please read. She says it so much better than I could.  Let me know what you think.

http://www.rolereboot.org/life/details/2013-06-when-your-mother-says-shes-fat


Part of the challenge- pictures. No editing, no deleting.
This is me and the Handy Man at fireworks last night.

9 comments:

  1. I loved this article too Julie. Thanks for this post!

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    1. I found this because you posted it on facebook, Michelle. So, thank you!

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  2. I had read that before & LOVED it. The pic of & Handy Man? Positively lovely. You can feel the fun that was being had!

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    1. Thanks. My husband likes to tease, which makes me laugh.

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  3. I've seen that article. It's really good. I've actually always thought you were really cute. I'm kind of dreading the day my kids are old enough to realize that I'm heavier than a lot of the other kids' moms.

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    1. I always thought my kids would be embarrassed by my weight, but they weren't. I think we worry too much about that. They're going to be proud of you as the cool mom with all the published books.

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  4. I hadn't read that yet, and to be honest had thought about that yet. Thank you so much for sharing, Julie!

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  5. I've never read this article before but what you're saying, and the details she brings up, trigger a lot of old memories and new thoughts for me. The first time I realized food could be considered 'bad' was before I was even 10 -- my mother saw me eating brownies, came up behind me and pinched my sides really hard, then whispered some pretty cruel things into my ear. It hurt my little heart a lot. At the same time, though, I couldn't reconcile what she'd said with my own experience: simply, that brownies tasted so good. Somewhere along the lines my mother had lost the joy of eating and playing and how all that can balance out. I definitely have a lot of my own issues now that I'm older, but my favorite part of this article is where she says she can't blame her mother/society anymore; that she's learning to take responsibility for her own attitude, etc. I look forward to reading your 'As I Am' series. You and your Handyman are gorgeous.

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  6. I had seen the article on FB...but never read it till now. Wow! Very powerful. I have been guilty in the past of bemoaning the areas of my body that I am less than thrilled with, the grey in my hair, the lines on my face, the chocolate that I am eating...all in front of my children. I live in a neighborhood with a whole lot of extremely fit and beautiful people...people who are extremely health conscious and have the money and time to be at the gym daily, buy that $$$ bike, etc. It's a lot of pressure. I am constantly reminding myself that it's about being healthy, not skinny. And that I need to be happy in my own skin, even if I'm not a size two like so-and-so down the street.

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