Manic Monday Re-Post

Did you know when I started this blog, I wanted the title to be 'Drowning in Laundry'? It's true. But, that name had been taken. I'm happy with the title I ended up with, but the fact remains, drowning in laundry is my life. Especially today. So, I'm recycling a post.  Forgive me.


Happy Arachnophobia Week


 It isn't really Arachnophobia Week, but it should be. I mean, those of us who are afraid of spiders are obviously the smartest and most sensible people. So, in honor of my made up holiday, I'm composing a letter to all of the eight-legged critters who reside in my home.


Dear Arachnids-

I understand that you live in my house. I'm willing to let you stay, if you will agree to abide by a few basic rules. These will help us live together in peace.



  • You will not hide in the dirty laundry so that when I put it in the wash, I find you crawling among the clothes. This makes it impossible for me to take the clothes out after the cycle is done. Even though I know you probably didn't survive.


  • If you feel the need to make a web, do not, under any circumstance, make it over a doorway. I might walk into it and destroy all your hard work. (Not to mention the therapy I'll need.)


  • Running around the kitchen floor is a big no-no. I could step on you, causing you to bite my foot, at which point I will call my husband- aka The Spider Executioner- to take care of you.


  • Running across the furniture at any time is strictly forbidden! My bed is the most off-limits of any off-limits place. Seriously.


  • Stop skulking in the corners. I may only find you when I vacuum, but that is bad news for you. As much as I despise the thought of you crawling around in my vacuum bag, I will suck you up! (One reason I couldn't have a canister vac. *shiver*)


  • If you could just stay in the walls where I can't see you and can just imagine that you aren't here at all, that would be great. We could live in harmony and the Executioner can focus on his other tasks, like giving me back rubs.

Sincerely, Jewels, President of the Spiders-Give-Me-the-Willies Club

Comments

Post a Comment

Are you one of the three? Stand up and be counted!

Popular posts from this blog

Illusive Peace

Image
Her house is stifling.  The fan above her clicks a rhythm and she lays as still as she can, hoping for relief. She pushes herself up, forcing movement that reverberates in her head. Walking through the rooms, she checks windows, praying for the breath of a breeze. She loves this house. Here she nursed and nurtured her babies.  The walls show signs of life-- fingerprints and smudges.  Smiling faces, captured and framed, adorn the walls. But, the walls are closing in and she retreats to the sanctuary of her room.  The thoughts are pressing, intensifying the pain in her head.  She tries with all her might to force them out. You're not welcome here . Still, they come. Persistent, they are. The fan beats in time with the judgements- ' not e-nough, not e-nough, not e-nough'.   She puts out the welcome mat, hoping for sleep.  Instead, she cries, curled into herself. But, the day is like any other, demanding, not to be ignored.  Amazing how ...
Read more

Small Stones

Crimson leaves pirouette and plie, Tenaciously hanging on to their knotted barre. The troupe sways in rhythm,  A late autumn dance, Moving to the music of the wind. (This was my Small Stone, written today for Mindful Writing Day .) 
Read more

Listen to Me

Image
Did you ever wake up in the morning, like usual, you turn over, check the time on the clock, happy to have a few more minutes, listen to the sound of your kids downstairs, cringe at a shout, stretch, then, suddenly-- you remember? Then you lay there all alone and smile stupidly to yourself? That was me. This morning. The reason for my stupid smiling? This- http://www.listentoyourmothershow.com/northernutah/ Last night, just before bed, I got an email. (Yes, I check my email A LOT. It's on my phone, so...) This email congratulated me on being selected for Listen to Your Mother. (jumping, squealing, maybe a victory dance) My audition was such a coincidence that it surely cannot be coincidence. I was perusing the internet and looking at random ads on a local news site. I clicked on 'Auditions/Pageants', hoping I could enter a Mrs. Frumpy Utah contest. (Me in an evening gown and tiara? Dream come true!) And, there I saw an ad for LTYM/Nothern Utah . In a fi...
Read more