A Better Day

(This was originally written four years ago. Funny how time passes, but the feelings about motherhood stay the same.)

This afternoon, Noah begged me to push him on the swing. I dragged myself outside to help him. No underdog, he informed me. I complied .  It only took a couple pushes because (hooray!)he’s learned to pump.  I stepped back and laid on the warm, black surface of the tramp.  The backs of my eyelids blazed red as I soaked up some much needed vitamin D.  I laid there, listening to the creak of the swing, taking deep breaths,  thinking about my day and how much more relaxed I felt than the day before. 

I’m not made for being a chauffer.  I counted a total of 7 trips I made on Wednesday. (Almost a half tank of gas! Ga!)  I came home angry and frustrated.   I growled at my kids and was prickly to my husband. Once dinner had been served, I parked my car-seat-shaped-butt on my bed, announcing that I was not moving for the rest of the night.  I didn’t.  When I said my prayers, I’m ashamed to say, I was still cranky.

Lucky for me, we have a Father who knows and loves us, even when we’re grouchy.  He knows what we need, even when we don’t. 

I was supposed to have another day of running back and forth, but things turned out differently.  I was able to be home. I cleaned , I vaccumed, I laundered.   Funny how the things I complain about were the very things I needed to do to feel normal again.  I sat with Noah on my lap to watch cartoons. Heavenly day- we both took a nap!  When the kids arrived from their next-to-last day of school, I was there and happy to see them, to listen to their stories and admire their artwork and serve up less-than-nutritous snacks.

Today, my loving Father gave me what I needed. A day of home.  A day to be a mom. A day to rest.  Tender mercies to remind me that I’m known and loved and watched over.