Fighting the 13
A recent study found that, on average, women have 13 'I hate my body' thoughts every day. That's one for every waking hour. When I heard that, my thought was 'only 13?' Since my breakthrough a week or so ago, this is what I've been battling. Like they say, old habits die hard. Yeah, like a cockroach. Cut off their heads and my negative thoughts would just run around headless.
So, I've been working at it. I've tried to stop those thoughts in their tracks, replacing them with something, anything positive.
Pictures are a huge part of the problem. Every time I get a picture taken, I look at it and think either I'm fat, or old, or fat and old. Digital cameras are great, but make it ever so easy to just delete. I am taking courage from my favorite blogger- nienie. She posts pictures of herself all the time and every time, I'm taken back by her courage. Part of embracing myself and my beauty is embracing who I am now, right now. Not who I was 20 years ago or who I might be a year from now. So, here goes-
This is my new haircut. No, it doesn't look like the picture, so kindly pointed out to me
and no, I don't look like Rene Russo.
But, I look like me.
I am also embracing who I am through my husband's eyes. He thinks I'm beautiful. I am wrapping my arms around his image of me, clinging to it. It's the lifeline that is pulling me out of this murky swamp of self-degradation I've been swimming in. The other day, after kissing him, he told me "20 years and you still take my breath away." Seriously, what girl's heart wouldn't go aflutter with that sentiment?
Tell me, do you struggle with pictures, or is it something else? I'd like to know, and also, how you combat those nasty 13 thoughts.
P.S.- I'm headed to the BYU women's conference for the next two days with my mom. I. Can't. Wait. It's like a spiritual day spa. I'll tell you about it when I get back.