Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Fighting the 13

A recent study found that, on average, women have 13 'I hate my body' thoughts every day.  That's one for every waking hour. When I heard that, my thought was 'only 13?'  Since my breakthrough a week or so ago, this is what I've been battling.  Like they say, old habits die hard. Yeah, like a cockroach. Cut off their heads and my negative thoughts would just run around headless.
So, I've been working at it. I've tried to stop those thoughts in their tracks, replacing them with something, anything positive. 
Pictures are a huge part of the problem.  Every time I get a picture taken, I look at it and think either I'm fat, or old, or fat and old.  Digital cameras are great, but make it ever so easy to just delete.  I am taking courage from my favorite blogger- nienie.  She posts pictures of herself all the time and every time, I'm taken back by her courage. Part of embracing myself and my beauty is embracing who I am now, right now. Not who I was 20 years ago or who I might be a year from now.  So, here goes-

This is my new haircut.  No, it doesn't look like the picture, so kindly pointed out to me
and no, I don't look like Rene Russo. 
But, I look like me.  

I am also embracing who I am through my husband's eyes.  He thinks I'm beautiful.  I am wrapping my arms around his image of me, clinging to it.  It's the lifeline that is pulling me out of this murky swamp of self-degradation I've been swimming in. The other day, after kissing him, he told me "20 years and you still take my breath away." Seriously, what girl's heart wouldn't go aflutter with that sentiment? 
Tell me, do you struggle with pictures, or is it something else? I'd like to know, and also, how you combat those nasty 13 thoughts. 

P.S.- I'm headed to the BYU women's conference for the next two days with my mom. I. Can't. Wait. It's like a spiritual day spa.  I'll tell you about it when I get back. 

7 comments:

  1. Julie, I just love your blogs. And you! I appreciate all you have to say, I agree with it all and relate to it all.

    I don't know what it is with pictures. I often wonder if I've got some distorted view of myself when I see a picture and think, "wow, I knew I looked bad but didn't realize it was THAT bad!" LOL I never take a good picture.

    I think you are beautiful and I truly think that every time I see a picture of you, I'm not exaggerating at all so you just remember that! ;oD

    Thanks for all your wise words, you're superdeeduper awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I delete pictures of me ALL THE TIME on the digital camera, that is why so few are ever posted. I hate the way I photograph!

    Love the haircut, you look beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love your picture, you look great!
    I have my list of 13 for sure. One thing I think we do to ourselves that hurts is comparing. I look at you and see all the things I wish I had. Your skin is awesome, while I still break out like a teenager. Sometimes worse. Your hair is always awesome while mine is quickly going down hill. I don't even know what to do with it anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  4. hello....it's me your friend and I think you are soooo pretty and always have!

    I STRUGGLE with pictures too....I hate hate hate my double chin and my big bulbus nose! My friend took one of me at the bowling alley the other day and my arms look soooo fat! I hate it and she posted it on facebook!!! Oh the horror, now everyone will see my big fat arms!

    I love your blog and you too!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't like pics of me at all- I used too....but in the past few years they have REALLY gone down hill.
    How funny that u are at womens conf. I am too and today u was sitting here thinking- I wish Julie was here, shed really like it!;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. You will always be my beautiful daughter! Thanks again for inviting me to Women's Conference. I learned a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love your hair. I don't like pictures either. You are beautiful.

    ReplyDelete

Are you one of the three? Stand up and be counted!