Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Don't Blink

 I hurried you along today.  You were doing your thing, climbing counters, poking the cake I just made, playing the wii.  I was in a hurry.
 'Time for school. Let's go.'
I got you dressed, and didn't laugh at your antics.
 'We need to hurry.'
 You wanted to clean your own face- no time. I did it for you and you grimaced. Once we were ready (finally!) you insisted on going around the block.  My shoulders drooped. Fine. I tried to rush you as you got out your scooter.
 'Come. On.'
Down the street, I urged you to go faster.
 'We'll be late.'
  My poky little puppy, you had better things to do.  Like inspecting the 'snakes' left all over the sidewalk after yesterday's rain.
 'Please don't stop.' when you did just that to make tracks in a nice circle of mud.  Standing at the corner, I almost tapped my foot with impatience.
Then, as I watched you push/pull your scooter up the hill, I had a glimpse.  A momentary flash of you, just, when was it? Just a moment ago when you were a newborn with your wild brown hair and big blue eyes.  I swore I would hold you every minute I could.  You were my last and I would cherish every.single.second.  And I did.
 But, here we are.  I blinked and now you're 4.  Mr. Independent.  You play with friends and ride your bike.  You can dress yourself and get your own juice.
If I blink again, you'll be in school- real school.  Our days together will end as I send you off on the big yellow bus you can't wait to ride.
Blink* You'll start jr. high- noticing girls, going to Scouts, and spending even more time with friends and less at home with me.
Blink* High school.  Dating, driving and the prom.  Graduation and jobs.
Blink* We'll fill out mission papers, and then, you'll really be gone.

I stood at the corner and waited. Suddenly patience washed over me.  I closed my mouth and opened my eyes and ears.  I let you lead.  Your pace, poky as it may be, became mine.  I watched as you scooted along, noticing flowers, peeking through fences, picking up rocks.  The world, so mundane and repetitive to me is oh, so new and adventurous to you.
We were late for school.  So not a tragedy. You gave me a quick kiss, then with a thumbs-up and a wave, you strolled to the door.
The sands of time aren't flowing, they're streaming past with jet plane speed.  I'll try to stop hurrying it along and heaven knows, I'm trying not to blink.

5 comments:

  1. That gave me chills! Thanks again for a great post Julie!

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  2. Sorry, that comment above was me....

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  3. Incredible! Something every mom should read! Thanks!

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  4. Ok I hope you don't mind I found your blog through Mandy's... and man I'm glad I did! This is such a beautiful post and something I definitely need to be reminded about and OFTEN!! What a gifted writer you are. Thanks for reminding me not to blink! :)

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  5. I blinked. My kids are so big!

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