frazzled & frumpy

I've felt a bit like a toddler this week. Taking a few steps, then falling on my hiney, then doing it all over again. It's exhausting and I'm still trying to get my balance. On a bright note, I can report that my tear ducts are in perfect working order. I shared this quote on facebook, but I think it's worth repeating. Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.' -Mary Ann Radmacher

I gave a talk in church yesterday. The subject was 'The Divine Roles of Men and Women'. I like that word- Divine . I looked it up and one of the definitions was 'of God'. That fits. As in- child of God and daughter of God . We should remind ourselves of how divine we are. When you get ready for bed tonight, no makeup, hair combed out, jammies on, toothbrush in mouth, look in the mirror and repeat with me, "I am divine ." It's what we are at our core. One of the Young Women values is Divine Nature, you know. We're trying to convince them that they are divine , too. Do you know what it means? To be a Divine Daughter of God ? It means you can do hard things. That's something our esteemed and brilliant Young Women's President has been trying to teach the girls. Back in November she challenged them, their families and the leaders to memorize 'The Living Christ'. She even broke it up into sections. We started on Dec. 5 and each week ther...

but, I don't know what it is. A couple nights ago, I'd just gone to bed when I got this horrendous pain in my ear. I know. Weird place for pain. Then, my back started to hurt, so I turned onto my back, hoping that would help. It didn't. I sat up. Immediately, the pain burst through my chest. It literally felt like I was being stabbed straight through my chest and back. No, no, no. I've had this pain before. It sometimes spreads to my jaw, which it did that night, but the ear was a new thing. I didn't worry too much, it always goes away 5 minutes or so after it begins. I sat ramrod straight, trying without success to ease the agony. 5 minutes. 10. I prayed and prayed that it would stop. I wasn't sure if Guy was awake or not. I tried not to make any sound, but I'm sure my breathing was a bit erratic. I checked my pulse, which seemed fine. 15 minutes. This is when the tears started. I couldn't help it. The pain would subside for a minute, but I could tell ...

My dream is for peace. In my home. Two days off from school. I can do this. I know I can. I prayed for help not to yell. Dang! 10am and I already did. Yell. "You will not punch anyone, do you understand me?!?!?!?" 7 kids. I've never regretted it, but sometimes I wonder what I was thinking. I definitely wasn't thinking about having 3 teenagers. It's only 2 days- I know. What will I do when it's summer break? (Have I mentioned how I love this place?) I have a dream. It'll come true on Wednesday. When they're back in school.

When I started this blog I had these grand ideas of how rich and famous it would make me. You know, like all those other famous blogs. hahahahahahha That obviously hasn't happened, which is ok. (Except, I'd really like the rich part.) So, when I started, I decided I would try to be anonymous- assign nicknames to my family members and not put any pictures of us on the blog. (Thus, the feet pics.) I've come to the decision that it's just not necessary. Pretty much everyone who reads this, knows me personally and those of you who don't- well I love you so much for reading that it doesn't matter. Besides, I have a hard time remembering the 'names' I'd given everyone. I had to keep going back to look for the names in former posts. Lame. This made me feel old and kind of dumb. Maybe it's just that I have so many kids. Whatever. So, this is who I am and these are the people I love. I hope they don't mind. If they do, well, when I do get rich I...

( Noah and his cake. He wanted DJ Lance Rock, but I am not that talented!) Sunday evening we had a little get-together for Noah's birthday. Grandparents, cousins, a couple aunts and uncles. During the melee of having so many people in our home, Noah runs in the kitchen and in his loudest voice asks, "Does Grandma have a weiner?" Oh crap. So, here's the dilemma. Do I scold him for saying that word (which I've been trying to keep him from saying) or do I answer what, for him, is a serious question? He's that age, you know, where he's curious about these things. I mean, would it have been better if he'd asked if Grandma had a penis? Definitely not , because when I grew up, I thought that was a swear word and I'm sure I've never, ever heard my mom say it. I told him not to say that word. "Well, does she?" "NO." I'm very grateful that I have the family I do. No one was fazed by it. We all just went on with our evening, eat...

I mentioned a 2011 Christmas letter in my last post. I didn't send one this year, really haven't for a while. Since I started my family blog, it seemed a bit redundant since most people I would send a letter to reads the blog and already knows everything that happened throughout the year. (wow, run-on sentence!) I like getting them, it's fun to find out what people I don't see often have been up to. I always wonder, though, how many people feel intimidated by them. I know I do. When I read how every one of your kids is a straight A student and on student council and in plays and the star of the football team and dating the prophet's great-granddaughter? Well, it makes my family seem- ordinary, or even, dare I say it? Below average. So, as a little belated Christmas gift, I am giving you the ultimate Christmas letter. This one will make you feel like your family is successful and brilliant, even if, like mine, they're lacking a bit. Feel free to print it out ...

I'd like to say good-bye to 2010. Like a good roller coaster- it had it's ups and downs- moments of exhilaration and times that made me nauseous . It wasn't a bad year, but it could've been better. Luckily, time flies when you have this many gray hairs (which no one sees thanks to L'oreal.). When you think about it, this year will zoom past as well. We talked about this year at FHE, and all the events that will be happening. Here's a run-down of the things that will make a great "Christmas Letter" for 2011. We'll have 9 birthdays, some more monumental than others. We will turn 4, 8, 11, 12, 15, 17, 19, 42 and one of us will be 45. (I just felt 3 more hairs turn gray.) That means, we'll have a baptism, and of course, cub scouts. One more priesthood holder and, as he reminds me, participant in weekly young men's activities. One step closer to a dating daughter. Heaven help us all. That daughter will enter high school- heaven help those boys...