frazzled & frumpy

I'm off to youth Conference tomorrow.  I thought I'd leave you with a more positive post than that last one. They say that laughter is the best medicine. If that's true then my immune system should be in full force today. I went to a girl's night with some friends last night.  We all lived in a townhouse community in West Valley.  When we lived there, we were young with growing families.  The weekend we moved in, I took a pregnancy test. Positive, of course.  I joined the legions (I'm not kidding) of women in our ward who were either expecting or nursing new babies. That year, there were over 40 babies born. Spencer was number 44.  Every fast Sunday, we had 4 or more blessings.  The mother's room was much too small, we had women nursing while sitting on the floor. It was great! Years have passed, our kids are growing up.  We've moved on to new homes & neighborhoods.  But, though there are miles between us and so many changes- one thing has remained.

(I wrote this the very late the other night after a particularly hard day. I've debated about whether or not to post it. I am- simply because it's honest and though it sounds like I'm depressed, I'm not. It's how I feel about a certain trial in my life that seems to go on and on and on. Read it, but please, don't worry about me.) Sometimes, life feels like I'm walking through a mud pit. It stretches out in front of me.  Not quite endless, but close.  The goal is there, I swear I can see it ahead. But, to get there-it's a long walk. Each step forward is a strain. The muck makes a slurping, sucking sound as I pull my foot out. Forward, slowly forward. My toes sink, I steady myself, then step again. Each time, the layer sticking to my feet grows, thicker and thicker,  until I'm wearing mud boots.  My feet are heavy, my legs ache.  The goal is still so far away. Then, for a brief moment, my feet break free and I am weightless. I stride forward, my he

 I was reading the Pioneer Woman's blog -(do you get tired of me talking about the blogs I read? I have a really pathetic life where much of my enjoyment comes from peeping into other people's more interesting, un-pathetic lives)- and she was talking about getting up at 4am during the summer because they live on a ranch. I feel for her. I'm pretty sure I haven't been up at 4am since I had a nursing baby, and then I was never fully awake. (Oh, I sometimes miss those precious moments, just you and the newborn in the wee hours. But, not enough to have another one.) This summer has been a very lazy one for me. My teens have to get up early to go to the camp where they work. After years of getting up myself to make sure they were up, I quit. I told them they had to get themselves out the door. Guess what? They do. So, most days, I wake up and they're already gone. Fabulous!  But, this week, I do have to drag my butt out of bed. For what? Summer band. No, I am not taking

No excuses. Just life and my general laziness. Here's what's been going on- I bought a mumu. Actually, I bought 2. My kids are not impressed. Guess it makes me look like an old lady. My husband thinks they're hot.  Went to our Relief Society 'not-homemaking-not-enrichment' get-together and learned new things about my neighbors. Who knew that Jenn likes muscle cars or that Jeannie likes Rascal Flatts? I do, now.  Took Max and Hunter to the scout office for pack night. They got to try the climbing wall. Great fun! Max on one of his 4 trips to the top. Hunter made it almost halfway up. A HUGE accomplishment for him! Saw Harry Potter with the Handy Man.  Honestly, JK Rowling is some kind of genius. I loved it!  (Harry Potter post coming soon.) Made a diaper bag for my gorgeous sister-in-law, Kerrie. It's a little late. My new niece is almost 2 months old. The bag is sooo cute, though, I think she'll forgive me. (Pictures coming after I get i

Heidi, Ellen and Me I was reading some advice on The Pioneer Woman' s blog.  She said you should blog like you're talking to your sister. I like that idea. I don't talk to my sisters near enough.  I'm not a phone person and e-mail just isn't the same.  We all have our lives and we're all busy. When we do get together, look out. We can spend hours together-just talking.  Here's what I would ask them about if I saw them this week- Heidi- (she has 4 beautiful daughters and one gorgeous grand daughter.) I would ask how Lindsey's new job is going and how many times has she seen Rowe  this week. Probably alot. Heidi is a good grandma and adores her grandbaby.  Also, I'd like to know how she's surviving with her husband working so far away and is she so excited for the reunion next month when he'll be home? Ellen- (she's a school teacher, so she has the summer off. Lucky.) I'd ask her how her trip on the 4th was and is she going anywher

I said in my last post that Sadie has confidence I didn't have at her age. It's true. I don't kid myself, tho', into thinking that she doesn't have insecurities.  None of us get to skate by without them.  But, you'd think that as we grow and mature, we'd be able to get over it. It's easy for me to tell my daughter and the other young women I work with how amazing they are. How they shouldn't listen to the world, shouldn't compare themselves to others, especially those in magazines or on TV.  It's easy because I can see their beauty and potential.  Their light shines so brilliantly, that sometimes I have to squint just to look at them.  "You are beautiful and talented and amazing." Easy. Taking my own advice is like trying to swallow a peach pit. I don't ever look in the mirror and tell myself how amazing I am. When my husband tells me I'm beautiful, I'm grateful and it makes me love him all the more. Yet, inside, I ca

 As I drove up to girls camp on Monday, I listened to the three girls in my car. It made me smile, hearing them talk and sing to the radio.  I love all our young women. I do. I'll be honest, tho', when I say that I have a favorite.  Sadie was only in YW for 9 months before I was called. So, most of her experiences have been shared.  I know that I'm lucky.  Not only do I love being with her, she loves having me there.  She sits next to me in class on Sundays. Often, she'll lean her head on my shoulder.  Oh, how I want to freeze these moments.  I'd preserve them and put them on a shelf.  The label would read, "Precious Moments with Sadie." Then, someday, when she's all grown and her attention has been captured by  some handsome, dark-haired man, I can remember what it was like for her to sit next to me, her love radiating like sunshine. (Sadie with a wig on. Doesn't look much like her, does it?) All week, I watched her as she interacted with her f

I'm leaving in mere minutes for a week of pampering and luxury. Hahahaha. I'm actually headed for girls camp. You know, mountains, dirt, tents, bugs. I can't wait!  It helps that I get to go with my daughter and that I love the women I serve with. It's like a 4 day girls night out! So, while I'm gone, here's a few of my past posts you might enjoy reading (again). It's in My Nature Wal-Mart Fall Apart I Believe Happy Mother's Day Cinderella Why So Serious?

Adam and Max  Max was baptized on Saturday.  He asked his oldest brother to do the honors.  We had a great day with loads of family who came to support him.  Hard to believe he's old enough. Yesterday, I gave a YW lesson on agency. I thought it quite appropriate that this lesson fell so close to Independence Day.  As I thought about Max and his baptism, I also thought about a man in our last ward who was Chinese.  One Sunday, he spoke and told his conversion story.  It was a long story and I don't remember all the details, but I do remember that it took him months to get baptized.  There was travel outside the country and getting permission to travel.  So many hoops to jump through. It was worth it, he said. We take so much for granted in this country.  For Max's baptism, we simply drove the 2 miles to our stake center.  It is such a blessing to live here where our God-given agency is a right and a privilege.  I think we get emotional about our freedom because our spi