frazzled & frumpy

My heart is racing and my hands are literally shaking. How is it that a simple e-mail (well, 7 actually) could make me such a nervous wreck? Because they are e-mails to book agents and I sent them my query letter. Aaaah! It has taken me about 15 months to finish this novel, including the last few weeks of revising. When I began this undertaking, I really had no idea what I was getting into. Do you have any idea how many people are writing books?? ALOT! Do you know how many get published? Not so much. One of the agents' blogs I read shows how many queries she gets each week and how many she requests the manuscript for. It varies from 150-250 queries and she usually asks for 0 or 1 full manuscript. Not great odds. I didn't know, if I had, it might have intimidated me. The competition is fierce to say the least. So, here I am, a lowly Utah housewife with aspirations to-what? Fame isn't something I crave. I just want my books to sell. Of course, getting them published first wo...

In this list of things I'm thankful for, I have to include, well, Thanksgiving. I keep hearing news stories about how you can eat 3-4000 calories in this one day. Oh, man! Bring it on!! I mean, seriously, it isn't like we eat this way every day, not even every month. We're talking once a year . Enough with the guilt trips already. Let me enjoy my turkey, mashed potatoes smothered in gravy, the fruit salad and rolls with butter! Don't forget the pie. Mmmm, pie. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it. I'm not just thankful for the food. I know my family gets together alot, it isn't like I didn't see them last month, I did. But, it's the tradition. It's also the gratitude. They say that grateful people are happier. I think it's so fitting that we preface the Christmas season with one focused on gratitude. What better way to commemorate the birth of our Savior than by remembering all the blessings we've been given? I'm so thankful for...

Never sending my children to bed hungry. Putting them to sleep in a warm bed. Hearing the furnace go on in the night. Knowing they will wake up to breakfast. Clothing to wear.

"And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet, and the wind longs to play with your hair." -Kahlil Gibran I do not have a foot fetish, contrary to what this blog may suggest. I do, however, like my feet. They are truly marvelous creatures. I don't remember learning to walk, but I'm pretty sure I did it. I remember when running was enjoyable (when I was 8). That complete abandon you feel when you plummet down a hill, arms wide. Not possible without feet. In high school, I tried out for drill team and was introduced to the beauty and wonder of dance. I danced in college, both on a team and in ballroom classes. I ate it up, couldn't get enough. Jumping, twirling, floating across the floor. John Dryden said "Dancing is the poetry of the foot." My feet were authors of great poetry. I haven't danced in a very long time, but in the back of my mind there's always the hope that someday I will again. My feet miss it. They've been bus...

The pros and cons to this site are many. I know there's controversy and people who think it's of the devil. I don't know about that. I do know that the reason I got on Facebook and the reasons I stay on are very different. I got on to keep track of my teenagers. I told them they could have an account only if I had access. So, I joined. I still keep track of my kids, but I do so much more. Here's a breakdown of my friends- 41 family members including 3 of my kids, but not my husband. 37 people from my old ward- they are now living everywhere from Utah to Idaho to Georgia. 71 people from my current ward/neighborhood, including 16 Young Women and Young Men (we even have a 'group' just for them) 4 of my kids' friends 13 high school classmates 10 misc. friends of which there are 2 missionary companions, one friend since kindergarten, one woman who shares my name and 2 ex-boyfriends. One leggo character named Buckie Magoo. So, today, I am thankful for facebook. ...

pi-o-neer 1-a person who is among those who first enter or settle a region. 2-to lead the way for a group While I am very thankful for the pioneers, those men and women who left all that was familiar and comfortable to make a new life, this post isn't about them. This is about the second kind, the 'ones who've gone before'. You can be a pioneer in just about anything, really. Today, I'm especially grateful for those 'mommy pioneers' who've gone before me, experienced things that I will have to go through and who are willing to share their expertise. I have one specific pioneer in mind. I have a friend, Meg, who also has a child with Autism. Ever since we moved here, she's been a bit of a mentor to me. Her son is a year older than mine, which gives her the title of pioneer in my book. She's just far enough ahead of me to be able to guide my very misguided footsteps along the mothering path. We were talking the other day about a conversation I...

Wow, I didn't realize I'd missed so many days. Well, here's today- This is what greets me every morning. I don't know where he gets it from, but my youngest is so happy in the morning. (Doesn't get it from either parent!) He always greets me with a "Good Morning, Mommy" laced with several, "I love you, Mom" s. He's so snuggly in the a.m., wanting nothing more than to crawl in and lay next to me in bed. If I happen to be up before him, he will ask, "I sit your lap?" I try very hard not to deny him this. No matter how busy my morning may be, I know these moments are fleeting and before I know it, he'll be taller than me and have, dare I say it?- attitude. I shudder at the thought. So, I try to enjoy every sweet little thing he does before it's all gone. I'm so grateful for my mornings with this little guy.

When #4 was just 10 months old, I found out I was pregnant with #5. This was overwhelming, to say the least. Though we'd planned on having more kids, the timing was a bit off. I'd just started going to aerobics classes with two of my friends and being pregnant just didn't fit in with the things I was trying to do. Eventually, I started feeling good about my pregnancy. I continued exercising until my 8th month. I gained the least amount of weight and he was my second smallest baby (8lb. 13oz.). I felt better in that pregancy than any of the others. What started as a shock and a surprise, turned into my sweet boy who is 10 years old today. I'm so grateful for him and the things he has taught me over the years.

I didn't get on the computer yesterday. When I'm stressed or not feeling 'myself' I avoid it, I don't know why. I did think alot about what I was grateful for yesterday. I'm grateful for the Sabbath, at least the church part. With all these kids, Sunday isn't exactly a day of rest. Maybe if I were a better mom, we'd have spiritually uplifting activities all day. I'm not. Anyway, for yesterday, I'm grateful for our ward. I love our ward family. It's amazing . When we bought this house 4 1/2 years ago, we prayed and prayed to find a house in a neighborhood where our kids would have friends. Heavenly Father did one better and brought us to a ward where we have fabulous friends, teachers and leaders. Having 6 boys, He knew we needed a strong scouting program, even if we didn't. We have the most dedicated scout leaders I've ever seen. It has made immeasurable differences in our lives. For my sweet daughter, she has many friends and fantas...

I've been fascinated by sign language as long as I can remember. As a 7 th grader, I met a deaf girl and was so enthralled by her I decided I wanted to be a teacher for the deaf. That dream went the way of so many others I had (nurse, fashion designer, professional bull-rider- just kidding). The draw of the language never left me though. When I got my mission call to serve with the deaf, I couldn't have been happier. Now, so many, many years later, I don't use it at all. It's still a part of me, I sign in my head alot. I love the beauty, the art and the drama of sign language and I love the culture and the unity of the people who use it. I'm grateful for the part it has paid in my life, and if it ever enters again, I would welcome it. That said, I am so very, very grateful for my hearing. Hearing my husband snore at night gives me such comfort, may be funny, but true. I'm thankful that I can hear music. We had a deaf sister in the MTC who said it would be worse ...

One night in Young Women's we were talking about why we have families. I said that because of my children, I laugh everyday. One of the girls said, "My mom doesn't laugh everyday." That made me sad. I'm so thankful for laughter and humor. Laughter has always been a part of my life. My dad is a great joke teller and he loves to do things to make us laugh. We're known criers, but we manage to laugh- alot. I'm grateful that my children have learned to appreciate humor. I love seeing them tease each other and share funny stuff. There is no better sound than that of my childrens' laughter. Need a laugh today, here you go- =0)

It seems that posting everyday is going to be more of a challenge than I thought. So, today, I'll do two. I'm thankful for the opportunity to get to know people. I went to high school with a girl named Cindy. I never liked her. She was very tom-boyish, never wore a dress, make-up or anything feminine. She played the drums in the band. I didn't know her well, but didn't really like her anyway. I can't even explain why. A couple years later, we ended up working at the same place. I was NOT thrilled. We spent all day together for weeks. Guess what? I loved her! She was funny and we had so much in common. We started hanging out and I was sad the day she left for her mission. We lost touch over the years, but I still remember her fondly. I recently had a similar experience where I got to spend some time with a woman I don't know well. I'll be honest, I'd made some judgements about her and decided I didn't really like her. After spending quite a bit of tim...

When I was young, I wanted to look like this- Just her hair, really. I wanted it long and straight. I achieved the long part, but, alas, my gene pool did not give me straight hair. My long hair was wavy. My life would've been so much easier if we'd have had these- I don't even know if hairstylists had them, 'back in the day'. Probably. But, they weren't available to normal people. I feel like I've come to terms with my natural curly hair. When it's short, it's GREAT! But, when it's longer, I love the way my flat iron gives me that sleek, straight look. So, today, I'm thankful for my straightener and for the person who invented this wonderful device.

A couple weeks ago, one of our Young Women spoke in church. Her topic was gratitude. She said two things that really affected me. First, she suggested that every day in November, we write a thank you letter. Now, clearly I love to write. But, letters? Well, you know how many people write letters anymore. I recently got a letter (e-mail, actually) from my son's Seminary teacher. In it, he told me what a blessing my son is in his life and how much he loves having him in class. I cried, of course. What a blessing that letter was to me. So, I'm taking the challenge to write a thank-you everyday this month. Not e-mail or text, but an honest-to-goodness, hand-written letter. Second, she told a story about a mom listening to her child's prayer and how that mom was struck by the simple things the child expressed thanks for ( I think pizza and toys were on the list). This made me think about how there are so many things in my life that I take for granted and never say thanks for. So...